Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Spayday is Done - Glory Be, Glory Be

There are two cats who are now minus their lady bits and this is good news as there were in imminent danger of becoming deceased cats at the hands of any or all of the residents in the Texas Rockhouse.  The only thing I can imagine more annoying than a cat in-heat would be a mosquito bite on a testicle.

Most of my time is spent in silence and I like (meow) that very much as I can (meow) mowing the grass is something that (meow) so in the main half of the space station (meow) and these kinds of natural medicines (meow) Steve Buscemi is so damn funny and (meow) Kill that Fucking Cat!!!!

My shoe-tossing skills improved enormously.  Before you call the Animal Cops, the object is to miss the cat, not to hit it.  That's the precision part.  The trouble is that after a while they figure it out and the shoe just won't chase them away anymore.  So then you move up to water.  Cats really love water ... somewhere else.

I would go on a Cat Safari as now I'm pissed.  I've abandoned whatever I'm doing because there's no chance of working on it so now I'm wasting time and I'm steamed.  Cat, I will find you and you will be taking a bath on the run, sweet girl.  Yevette would be laughing at my Cat Safari but she would caution don't get that water on the floor.  Of course, minutes later there would be water on the floor; Yevette would be angry with me; I would be angry with the cat; the terrorist cat would remain bone dry (meow).

These cats are such damn terrorists too.  All the doors have to stay closed, not to protect from terrorists outside but to stop the terrorists inside from getting out.  That means the house goes up to two hundred degrees Centigrade and there's nothing anyone can do about it ... except Kill those Fucking Cats!!!

Sometimes I would come back to the keyboard and find it prompting, press OK to erase all memory, set the keyboard afire and dial 911 to tell them there are werewolves climbing through the windows.  Fucking terrorist cats.  They walk on the keyboard.

They also think they can play a synthesizer keyboard by jumping up on it.  Note to owners:  they can't.

They pull the guitar picks out of the rubber holders on the mike stand.  This entertains a cat for some reason.  Coincidentally, this is why it entertains people to drown cats.

I was extremely vigilant as a cat did previously break a guitar and you know how destructive the little bastards can be.  All the while the owners are going, well, gee, aren't they cute.  But, Shirley Temple, let's lose the dimples, they're not cute.  They are vicious, psychopathic killers and they break stuff.  It was war.  Me and the Cat.  One of us is going down and it ain't going to be me, Psychopath.  Let's do it.

But now it's all over.  The cats are very quiet but are doing fine.  The procedures cost quite a bit more than anticipated and Yevette was short twenty bucks so there wasn't enough for any pain meds for the next days.  The vet's girl said the cats would tolerate it well and be ok but obviously they would do better with the meds.  I had twenty for something else so I told her to get the stuff but don't think this means I like the little fuckers.  This is was for the cause of the socialism!  Ha!


Note to Owners:  please neuter your city critters.  The better care you take of yer own, the fewer the SPCA / RSPCA has to put to sleep.

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