Today for our True Confession we have the tale from Maria Costanza, a young woman in Mexico with a story of love, an immense amount of money, and betrayal.
El Chapo is the biggest gangster in Mexico, maybe even throughout the world, and his net worth was estimated at one billion dollars by Forbes magazine in 2012. He's also said to be directly responsible, through the war between the drug cartels and Mexico's police and military, for the deaths of sixty-thousand or more people.
So, yah, chuck him into a jet motor but the more interesting story is in the man who holds the money as this is the man with whom young Maria Costanza fell in love. When you're just running a crackhouse, you can launder the money at Miguel's Five Star Bank and General Store but you need a Really Big Bank when you want to launder a billion dollars.
Fortunately, there is no shortage of RCWGs (i.e. Rich Conservative White Guys) running banks but, unfortunately, innocent Maria Costanza fell in love with one of them. He wined her and he dined her and eventually she felt in love with this creepy, bald-headed, ugly-ass banker. Maybe you think she followed him for the money but she was young and she loved him, she believed him. She believed in him.
She believed in him right up until he split with an even younger woman and retired in Aruba. Now he's living in luxury with her and poor, innocent Maria Costanza was left on the street with no home and no skills. Now she is working in a Juarez cathouse, another victim of El Chapo.
(Ed: do you make up all of this bullshit?)
All of it as in every word?
(Ed: yes)
Well, now that you force it out of me, the truth is El Chapo kept all his billions of dollars in shoeboxes and the legitimate banking system never laundered any of it.
(Ed: did he pay you to say that?)
No.
But the bankers might.
El Chapo is the biggest gangster in Mexico, maybe even throughout the world, and his net worth was estimated at one billion dollars by Forbes magazine in 2012. He's also said to be directly responsible, through the war between the drug cartels and Mexico's police and military, for the deaths of sixty-thousand or more people.
So, yah, chuck him into a jet motor but the more interesting story is in the man who holds the money as this is the man with whom young Maria Costanza fell in love. When you're just running a crackhouse, you can launder the money at Miguel's Five Star Bank and General Store but you need a Really Big Bank when you want to launder a billion dollars.
Fortunately, there is no shortage of RCWGs (i.e. Rich Conservative White Guys) running banks but, unfortunately, innocent Maria Costanza fell in love with one of them. He wined her and he dined her and eventually she felt in love with this creepy, bald-headed, ugly-ass banker. Maybe you think she followed him for the money but she was young and she loved him, she believed him. She believed in him.
She believed in him right up until he split with an even younger woman and retired in Aruba. Now he's living in luxury with her and poor, innocent Maria Costanza was left on the street with no home and no skills. Now she is working in a Juarez cathouse, another victim of El Chapo.
(Ed: do you make up all of this bullshit?)
All of it as in every word?
(Ed: yes)
Well, now that you force it out of me, the truth is El Chapo kept all his billions of dollars in shoeboxes and the legitimate banking system never laundered any of it.
(Ed: did he pay you to say that?)
No.
But the bankers might.
2 comments:
chuck him in a jet motor. novel form of capital punishment Is that the newest texan method
That's my new invention. I figure it's got it all. No-one will bitch about it taking too long. It will make a great spectacle on television. No funeral expenses. It's a win all the way around except, well, for the dead guy.
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