The Department of Homeland Security today issued a national mandate to all markets to stop prosecuting children for anything they take in the cashier's checkout line. If the kid can reach it, the kid can keep it.
The rationale behind the mandate is the temptation to steal candy has been turning the children of America into proto-criminals who ultimately will start using drugs, become terrorists, and join ISIS where they will cut the heads off people crazy enough to go to Iraq. To prevent this incipient problem from exploding into terrorist violence, the mandate takes effect immediately.
That's right, Mom. Anything the kid can reach in the checkout line and stuff into his or her little pockets, well, that's a keeper. No charge for any of it.
It's new policy for the markets in the country but it's good for the children, it's good for Amurica.
The rationale behind the mandate is the temptation to steal candy has been turning the children of America into proto-criminals who ultimately will start using drugs, become terrorists, and join ISIS where they will cut the heads off people crazy enough to go to Iraq. To prevent this incipient problem from exploding into terrorist violence, the mandate takes effect immediately.
That's right, Mom. Anything the kid can reach in the checkout line and stuff into his or her little pockets, well, that's a keeper. No charge for any of it.
It's new policy for the markets in the country but it's good for the children, it's good for Amurica.
IF THE KID CAN REACH IT
THE KID CAN KEEP IT
4 comments:
Kids that eat candy during Ramadan are now free from prosecution in this country. But if the join ISIS the will be whipped for breaking fast I believe last week about 80 people were including teenagers and children
As always, the paper generals think killing a lot of people will stop that. If creationists ever needed proof there is no evolution, they only need to review the behavior of the Pentagon.
lately I have decided if the government of each nation set a mandatory daily dosage of maragaritas. and the necessary amounts of Jimmy Buffet. All the worlds ills would evaporate. I am pretty sure ML would agree
I've seen myself after margaritas and it's better for myself and for the world if I remain with my current intoxicant of choice although an ample supply of margaritas for those who so choose along with said intoxicant at a Jimmy Buffet concert would be one peach of a highly-non-confrontational time.
I still have the parrot! He's been on the mike stand but he keeps falling off. Maybe this needs some Harryhausen parrot effects in a video.
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