Geologists in South America have discovered a great many quite large tunnels which they at first thought were caves. Regardless of how they were created, South American hipsters immediately recognized the caves as potential new homes off the grid.
See, all you need is a mosquito net to cover the opening plus a sleeping bag for your repose and it's home, sweet, home, hipster honeys.
Hipster: it looks like it will collapse on me the first night
Take it easy, Wimpish One, since the cave has been there for at least ten thousand years; it's not going to fall. This is where they went for protection from their nuke wars in that time.
Hipster: why don't we see them now then?
They didn't fuckin' work. There is no shelter from a nuke war.
Hipster: who exactly are they?
These are giant sloths which can range to the size of an elephant but don't worry since scientists think they're extinct.
Hipster: they didn't survive the nuke war?
Nope. At least no-one seems to think they survived.
Here are their claw marks in the walls of the caves.
Don't worry as they don't seem much larger than might come from a living back-hoe, a really angry one.
Hipster: but the giant sloths are extinct
Well, we can't really be sure anything is extinct, can we. We thought Joe McCarthy was dead and gone but he's front page news today. The past is coming back to chew us to pieces so it does seem appropriate if giant sloths are part of that.
Hipster: you just make this stuff up to scare me
Oh, really. Take a walk on the wild side, darlin', and do observe these tunnels are all over the place. Do keep thinking the giant sloths are extinct if you like. (Discover: Get Lost in Mega-Tunnels Dug by South American Megafauna)
Hipster: how did the nuke war start back then?
Well, there was a dinosaur called Trumpasaurus and he kept getting neurotic since it's difficult to differentiate dinosaurs by sex (true) and Melaniasaurus looked just like him. To show he was really a Machosaurus, he started throwing nuclear weapons around. However, he didn't consider that nuclear weapons are like penises and everybody's got one so the nuke war started and all the giant sloths died.
Hipster: they think they died
Right. They think they died ... in all probability, you know.
See, all you need is a mosquito net to cover the opening plus a sleeping bag for your repose and it's home, sweet, home, hipster honeys.
Hipster: it looks like it will collapse on me the first night
Take it easy, Wimpish One, since the cave has been there for at least ten thousand years; it's not going to fall. This is where they went for protection from their nuke wars in that time.
Hipster: why don't we see them now then?
They didn't fuckin' work. There is no shelter from a nuke war.
Hipster: who exactly are they?
These are giant sloths which can range to the size of an elephant but don't worry since scientists think they're extinct.
Hipster: they didn't survive the nuke war?
Nope. At least no-one seems to think they survived.
Here are their claw marks in the walls of the caves.
Don't worry as they don't seem much larger than might come from a living back-hoe, a really angry one.
Hipster: but the giant sloths are extinct
Well, we can't really be sure anything is extinct, can we. We thought Joe McCarthy was dead and gone but he's front page news today. The past is coming back to chew us to pieces so it does seem appropriate if giant sloths are part of that.
Hipster: you just make this stuff up to scare me
Oh, really. Take a walk on the wild side, darlin', and do observe these tunnels are all over the place. Do keep thinking the giant sloths are extinct if you like. (Discover: Get Lost in Mega-Tunnels Dug by South American Megafauna)
Hipster: how did the nuke war start back then?
Well, there was a dinosaur called Trumpasaurus and he kept getting neurotic since it's difficult to differentiate dinosaurs by sex (true) and Melaniasaurus looked just like him. To show he was really a Machosaurus, he started throwing nuclear weapons around. However, he didn't consider that nuclear weapons are like penises and everybody's got one so the nuke war started and all the giant sloths died.
Hipster: they think they died
Right. They think they died ... in all probability, you know.
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