First Lady Melania Trump sits patiently on the sofa as her husband President Donald Trump speaks to the press in the Oval Office of the White House
Photograph: Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images
Behind Ms Trump, we see the phalanx of paparazzi which prevented her escape back to New York.
Note: the fellow wearing the bright blue shirt is an imposter. When he takes the cap off the lens to the camera, a bloody great paper lizard jumps out of it. Believe you me, that can be a riot in the Oval Office.
When Ms Trump was finally able to leave, her last words before departure were, "If you drag me back into this stupid bullshit again then you're not going to get laid for a year, comrade. I'm not going to hang around here telling kids to read. If they're too stupid to know that already, what the fuck good are they? When we get dumb asses like that in The City, we send them to California."
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