How much time do you suppose it took for Lizard Banker to do the programming to add that to the customer display? Better yet, some wiseacre of an analyst, Lizard Leader, used some of his or her (cough) precious time to decide it was necessary before tasking Lizard Banker with doing it. They may even have had a meeting on it because corporate lives for mindless meetings.
Do you suppose there is anyone on Planet Earth who would not know that is a low balance.
We are so dazzled by your genius, Lizard Banker.
That IRA remains open because I really don't know or care how to close it and it amuses me to observe how long they will continue sending me statements. This has gone on for at least five years now and I guess Lizard Banker gets off on telling me every so often, "You are so completely fucking fucked, you worthless waste of protoplasm; why aren't you fucking dead?"
But I knew that (larfs).
If you wonder why Bank of America keeps ripping you off and United Airlines keeps killing rabbits, this should give some idea. Lizard Banker is as dumb as a box of rocks.
Note: amazingly, even after killing the world's largest rabbit yesterday and beating the shit out of a doctor a week ago, United Airlines and Oscar Munoz are not rated the worst and there are two no-frills airlines below even the low standard of UA.
One thing you may notice in the modern time is asinine is used ever so much more frequently now. It's not enough for something to be stupid; now it's fucking asinine.
Yeah, boy ... let's get some color in that speech and if you say 'awesome' I will put an axe in your non-functioning head since you only show you don't need it.
You can be Lizard Banker or you can be this and it's extremely unlikely you can be both.
Ed: Lizard Banker could just buy his own elephant!
Negatory on that as the elephant has to like you but no-one likes lawyers or bankers, especially elephants.
4 comments:
It may surprise you, but low balance alerts are at the top of customer requested enhancements to web and mobile banking interfaces. It is quickly followed by text messages for low balance alerts.
You're already aware of the bell curve and I'm so damn glad I don't live on the other end of it where such people live.
Well, in fairness to some of them, it's definitely useful when you have college-aged kids attached to the account but, as a parent, have neglected to teach them anything about fiscal responsibility. A lot of the enhancement requests are to receive texts anytime the kid accesses funds.
My ol' Dad didn't teach fiscal responsibility because, wtf, he never practiced it either but there's a much more expeditious solution than this texting rubbish: do what he did and don't give the spoiled little rotters bank accounts.
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