Wednesday, April 26, 2017

What Else Sounds Like a Car Starter

There was a sound coming from outside which sounded like someone trying to start a car but the starter would only chirp for a short time and the motor wouldn't catch.  This happened over and over to the point I had to find out what's happening.  Maybe someone has got all flustered and needs to hear, "Man, you really don't want to do this to your car."

But I couldn't locate the car since it seemed it came from the left and I went to take a look but that's the direction to Yevette's car as well.  As I got closer, the direction seemed more and more toward her her car but I couldn't really see it due to shrubs.

I was thinking, wtf, is someone trying to rip it off but as I got closer, the direction shifted more and I realized it was above me.

It was a fookin' chipmunk and he was one pissed-off, li'l chattering sumbitch.  He was on the inside decorative edges of the ceiling for the porch so he didn't have a good leap back to a branch anywhere and he really wasn't stuck but, like a whole lot of things, he couldn't find his way home.

The upset squirrel was focused on me and kept up this chattering.  I figured, ok, angry li'l rodent, let's back up a little and see how you do.  He didn't figure he needed to stay backed into a corner but he wasn't so bright about working his way back to where he had been so he just took a leap.

That fookin' squirrel probably fell at least eight feet and did a full belly flop on the porch ... THWACK.

I thought, holy shit, that's no longer an angry li'l rodent but one with a major concussion.

Incorrect.

He jumped up quickly, shook himself off a bit, and scampered into a nearby shrub where he was jumping from branch to branch for no apparent reason.

Ed:  Mad Squirrel Disease?

That looks like the case.  This, as you know, is not rabies.  They just go nuts and sometimes they start yodeling.  You have to hear that some time.  It's not dangerous but it is contagious.  They caught it from humans.

Ed:  is there a cure?

What else ... Socialism.

Maestro, rim shot, please.


Mostly Mad Squirrel Disease isn't a problem but some of them are inspired by it to collect guns and those ones are unpredictable.


When they start shooting and yodeling at the same time, it's terrifying.

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