It started in Berlin, or thereabouts.
In the evolution of modern man, startling changes have taken place. One of the most dramatic examples was the advent of self-awareness about forty thousand years ago. That one began in Athens. Scientists have been arguing ever since as to whether it really started somewhere else because that's one of the primary advantages of self-awareness: we an argue indefinitely about things which don't matter to anyone. Eventually this gave us Facebook.
Note: there is dispute within the scientific community as to whether the advent of self-awareness came in Persia and the rationale is reasonable. The first was Ali Baba whose first thought was I need some chicks so he gathered a harem. This aspect of self-awareness continues in its purest form through to modern times in music in that its only real purpose is getting the musician laid.
From Persia, self-awareness in modern man migrated to Greece where Socrates used the newfound capacity for reasoning to drink hemlock and die. This is one of the hazards of self-awareness. His final words are often cut short on remembrance but what he really said was, "Know thyself ... but don't fuck with the hemlock."
Prior to self-awareness, Homo sapiens had the physical characteristics of humans but did not have the capacity of advanced reasoning, much as we observe currently with fundamentalist Christians. They look human ... until they start talking. Then you know, these people are not of us.
There were fundamentalists at the time self-awareness arose and they believed fervently God started the campfires and that scraping flints to start fires was just a magic trick by the charlatans of science. Fundamentalists believed they could pray for fire with the result then, as now, they ate a lot of cold food.
From within the Clan of the Fundamentalist Bears came the genetic change which wouldn't change humanity but would seriously slow it down, the Bureaucrat Gene. Evolutionary geneticists have traced its genesis to approximately the same period as the advent of self awareness and this change took place near the location of modern Berlin. Scientists have concluded the first action after self-awareness was recognition of the need for creating forms in triplicate and, shortly thereafter, the Bureaucrat Gene arose.
Germany was the source of the Bureaucrat Gene so inevitably one of the most deeply-entrenched systems of governmental and corporate paper chasing arose there. Germans warn you, if you can't handle the bureaucracy, don't come. He laughs but he is young. What he omits is eighty percent of Germans hate the bureaucracy. Therefore, we conclude, unscientifically, twenty percent of Germans have the Bureaucrat Gene. Bureaucrats, unlike you, are not bothered by other bureaucrats because they know better than anyone they have nothing better do than wait in a line anyway.
Note: there was stern admonishment regarding the described path of the Bureaucrat Gene when this document was submitted for peer review as is required of all scientific documents.
The criticism was failure to observe the rise of the Bureaucrat Gene three thousand years earlier in Peking and thus China was deprived of rightful recognition for its efforts, over millennia, to ensure the world doesn't ever do anything. Except for making more Chinese, that effort was largely successful.
The Angles and the Saxons were the Germanic tribes which brought the Bureaucrat Gene to England and the evidence is clear it has thrived over the centuries. What the fuck does a Lord of the Exchequer do and who the hell cares.
Bureaucracy in England is profoundly annoying, ineffective, and typically useless but it still can't manage, in sheer volume, the bureaucracy of Germany but it may have an edge in ludicrous hats and ridiculous titles. Their proclivity and determination to cling to things which haven't meant anything for centuries is the same tenacious ability which gave us The Sex Pistols.
From England, the Bureaucrat Gene came with the Pilgrims to the New World where the first effort was to make it as quickly as possible as much like the Old World as they could. Naturally, this meant doing everything in triplicate. This led to boundless New World job opportunities as creating all of the useless forms was work for some new Americans and then managing all the piles of newly-created useless forms became yet more jobs for more new Americans. The number of useless piles of useless forms grew and grew until finally they turned into the Republican Party which never, ever wants to change another form ever again.
Now you know why.
Previously you had wondered why Republicans do not see the future and this is because there is no form to advise them the future exists. They won't approve creation of a form which says the future exists and thus they remain emphatic that nothing is permitted to change because that would bring about a future which isn't authorized to exist and can't be authorized because they will not permit the appropriate form.
And thus evolves the Bureaucrat Gene.
In the evolution of modern man, startling changes have taken place. One of the most dramatic examples was the advent of self-awareness about forty thousand years ago. That one began in Athens. Scientists have been arguing ever since as to whether it really started somewhere else because that's one of the primary advantages of self-awareness: we an argue indefinitely about things which don't matter to anyone. Eventually this gave us Facebook.
Note: there is dispute within the scientific community as to whether the advent of self-awareness came in Persia and the rationale is reasonable. The first was Ali Baba whose first thought was I need some chicks so he gathered a harem. This aspect of self-awareness continues in its purest form through to modern times in music in that its only real purpose is getting the musician laid.
From Persia, self-awareness in modern man migrated to Greece where Socrates used the newfound capacity for reasoning to drink hemlock and die. This is one of the hazards of self-awareness. His final words are often cut short on remembrance but what he really said was, "Know thyself ... but don't fuck with the hemlock."
Prior to self-awareness, Homo sapiens had the physical characteristics of humans but did not have the capacity of advanced reasoning, much as we observe currently with fundamentalist Christians. They look human ... until they start talking. Then you know, these people are not of us.
There were fundamentalists at the time self-awareness arose and they believed fervently God started the campfires and that scraping flints to start fires was just a magic trick by the charlatans of science. Fundamentalists believed they could pray for fire with the result then, as now, they ate a lot of cold food.
From within the Clan of the Fundamentalist Bears came the genetic change which wouldn't change humanity but would seriously slow it down, the Bureaucrat Gene. Evolutionary geneticists have traced its genesis to approximately the same period as the advent of self awareness and this change took place near the location of modern Berlin. Scientists have concluded the first action after self-awareness was recognition of the need for creating forms in triplicate and, shortly thereafter, the Bureaucrat Gene arose.
Germany was the source of the Bureaucrat Gene so inevitably one of the most deeply-entrenched systems of governmental and corporate paper chasing arose there. Germans warn you, if you can't handle the bureaucracy, don't come. He laughs but he is young. What he omits is eighty percent of Germans hate the bureaucracy. Therefore, we conclude, unscientifically, twenty percent of Germans have the Bureaucrat Gene. Bureaucrats, unlike you, are not bothered by other bureaucrats because they know better than anyone they have nothing better do than wait in a line anyway.
Note: there was stern admonishment regarding the described path of the Bureaucrat Gene when this document was submitted for peer review as is required of all scientific documents.
The criticism was failure to observe the rise of the Bureaucrat Gene three thousand years earlier in Peking and thus China was deprived of rightful recognition for its efforts, over millennia, to ensure the world doesn't ever do anything. Except for making more Chinese, that effort was largely successful.
The Angles and the Saxons were the Germanic tribes which brought the Bureaucrat Gene to England and the evidence is clear it has thrived over the centuries. What the fuck does a Lord of the Exchequer do and who the hell cares.
Bureaucracy in England is profoundly annoying, ineffective, and typically useless but it still can't manage, in sheer volume, the bureaucracy of Germany but it may have an edge in ludicrous hats and ridiculous titles. Their proclivity and determination to cling to things which haven't meant anything for centuries is the same tenacious ability which gave us The Sex Pistols.
From England, the Bureaucrat Gene came with the Pilgrims to the New World where the first effort was to make it as quickly as possible as much like the Old World as they could. Naturally, this meant doing everything in triplicate. This led to boundless New World job opportunities as creating all of the useless forms was work for some new Americans and then managing all the piles of newly-created useless forms became yet more jobs for more new Americans. The number of useless piles of useless forms grew and grew until finally they turned into the Republican Party which never, ever wants to change another form ever again.
Now you know why.
Previously you had wondered why Republicans do not see the future and this is because there is no form to advise them the future exists. They won't approve creation of a form which says the future exists and thus they remain emphatic that nothing is permitted to change because that would bring about a future which isn't authorized to exist and can't be authorized because they will not permit the appropriate form.
And thus evolves the Bureaucrat Gene.
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