Cadillac Man has remarked more than once over the years, man, how in the world did we live through that.
That is a situation involving a couple of girls, Cadillac Man, a whole lot of alcohol with a Sunbeam Alpine. I was the drunk pretending I could drive.
This Sunbeam Alpine looks exactly the same as one starring in this performance.
(Ed: how can you possibly fit four people into that car?)
Well, dunno, man. We were uni students and we were drunk. The top was down and probably the two in the back were sitting on the cover for the top so we were mostly begging for death in this one.
That Sunbeam Alpine is a beautiful car, at least when she runs. Check out that beautiful bonnet and how it has no dents in it. Mine was not like that as even the fan broke. It disintegrated and shot one of the parts into the bonnet. Considering the history of this car, it's likely there wasn't anything on it which didn't break at one time or another.
But she was prime when she was running as you could get all Stirling Moss throwing her around corners and this car defeated a Dodge 440 down the road behind Aiken High School in Cincinnati. It was hilarious as Big Joe was so convinced that Dodge with its huge monster engine would eat up the Alpine. The harder he tried, the more times he would go off the road. Then a moment later, there would be bouncing lights and he would be tearing back onto the road again ... only to go off the road another time on the next corner. No-one got hurt but, man, was he pissed.
She was small but she was fast.
So, yah, that's when she ran. This is the same car in which the battery, conveniently located behind the passenger seat, exploded. It was only through incredible luck that Lotho looked away at that moment or he would have been permanently blinded. He kept his sight but not so much his clothes as battery acid doesn't treat them well. In fact, it makes them disintegrate.
Note: the battery location make sense in England ... but the same people put the plumbing on the outside of a house so it doesn't freeze in Winter.
The expedition in question in which Cadillac Man still does not how we lived, he and I had been out prowling as university students often do. Somehow we inadvertently ran into some females but we were so drunk I have no idea of what our intentions might have been. This was when you could get a pitcher of beer for maybe a dollar on Tuesday nights and we never missed that. Dehydration was never a problem at that time.
We liked to hang around at the ACACIA fraternity house at the University of Cincinnati as this was the closest I ever came to an Animal House. These were looney, super-smart gearheads and they even mixed Phenolphthalein with the wall paint so it would change colors from humidity. That was also the beer room so the longer you stayed down there drinking, the more color change would come.
No-one was in any danger from grades so that made the primary occupation of the Animal House one of getting laid and, failing that, getting as drunk as possible ... usually the latter.
Note: one of theses guys ended up a doctor at the Mayo Clinic. He quit smoking cigarettes by drinking nearly pure alcohol until he stopped. It worked and he didn't wind up an alcoholic or a smoker.
On this night as it was looking good. Delivering anything when you're that drunk is not likely but we had high hopes, we goin' get lucky tonight.
So we pile into this ridiculously-small car and what else is there ... let's see how fast it goes. The details of the rest of the drive are not clear (i.e. no fucking idea) but the drive past the Deaconess nursing dorm, where we spent many happy hours, was the best treat. The reason is we went ferociously fast down the street but there was a hard right turn onto a tiny street at the end of it before getting onto Straight Street which is mostly, well, straight-down (seriously - very steep).
The marvel is how we got around that corner ... but it wasn't over yet as I guess drunk-ass Silas Stirling Moss thinks we need the dazzling arrival so that was followed by a hard left turn into the tiny parking lot for the ACACIA house which, regrettably, had a huge tree on the corner.
That''s the marvel part. No-one has any idea how we managed to miss that tree. I'm not even sure who was in the car. The arrival was grand, tho, as it might even have looked like we knew what we were doing but anyone inside the car knew better.
So, how did we live through that? No fookin' idea.
As to remembering the sixties. Man, you can't be serious.
(Ed: this really is true?)
You keep asking me that and you will piss me off. Ask Cadillac Man as he remained non-deceased as well. You could ask him but I can tell you right now he has no idea either.
That is a situation involving a couple of girls, Cadillac Man, a whole lot of alcohol with a Sunbeam Alpine. I was the drunk pretending I could drive.
This Sunbeam Alpine looks exactly the same as one starring in this performance.
(Ed: how can you possibly fit four people into that car?)
Well, dunno, man. We were uni students and we were drunk. The top was down and probably the two in the back were sitting on the cover for the top so we were mostly begging for death in this one.
That Sunbeam Alpine is a beautiful car, at least when she runs. Check out that beautiful bonnet and how it has no dents in it. Mine was not like that as even the fan broke. It disintegrated and shot one of the parts into the bonnet. Considering the history of this car, it's likely there wasn't anything on it which didn't break at one time or another.
But she was prime when she was running as you could get all Stirling Moss throwing her around corners and this car defeated a Dodge 440 down the road behind Aiken High School in Cincinnati. It was hilarious as Big Joe was so convinced that Dodge with its huge monster engine would eat up the Alpine. The harder he tried, the more times he would go off the road. Then a moment later, there would be bouncing lights and he would be tearing back onto the road again ... only to go off the road another time on the next corner. No-one got hurt but, man, was he pissed.
She was small but she was fast.
So, yah, that's when she ran. This is the same car in which the battery, conveniently located behind the passenger seat, exploded. It was only through incredible luck that Lotho looked away at that moment or he would have been permanently blinded. He kept his sight but not so much his clothes as battery acid doesn't treat them well. In fact, it makes them disintegrate.
Note: the battery location make sense in England ... but the same people put the plumbing on the outside of a house so it doesn't freeze in Winter.
The expedition in question in which Cadillac Man still does not how we lived, he and I had been out prowling as university students often do. Somehow we inadvertently ran into some females but we were so drunk I have no idea of what our intentions might have been. This was when you could get a pitcher of beer for maybe a dollar on Tuesday nights and we never missed that. Dehydration was never a problem at that time.
We liked to hang around at the ACACIA fraternity house at the University of Cincinnati as this was the closest I ever came to an Animal House. These were looney, super-smart gearheads and they even mixed Phenolphthalein with the wall paint so it would change colors from humidity. That was also the beer room so the longer you stayed down there drinking, the more color change would come.
No-one was in any danger from grades so that made the primary occupation of the Animal House one of getting laid and, failing that, getting as drunk as possible ... usually the latter.
Note: one of theses guys ended up a doctor at the Mayo Clinic. He quit smoking cigarettes by drinking nearly pure alcohol until he stopped. It worked and he didn't wind up an alcoholic or a smoker.
On this night as it was looking good. Delivering anything when you're that drunk is not likely but we had high hopes, we goin' get lucky tonight.
So we pile into this ridiculously-small car and what else is there ... let's see how fast it goes. The details of the rest of the drive are not clear (i.e. no fucking idea) but the drive past the Deaconess nursing dorm, where we spent many happy hours, was the best treat. The reason is we went ferociously fast down the street but there was a hard right turn onto a tiny street at the end of it before getting onto Straight Street which is mostly, well, straight-down (seriously - very steep).
The marvel is how we got around that corner ... but it wasn't over yet as I guess drunk-ass Silas Stirling Moss thinks we need the dazzling arrival so that was followed by a hard left turn into the tiny parking lot for the ACACIA house which, regrettably, had a huge tree on the corner.
That''s the marvel part. No-one has any idea how we managed to miss that tree. I'm not even sure who was in the car. The arrival was grand, tho, as it might even have looked like we knew what we were doing but anyone inside the car knew better.
So, how did we live through that? No fookin' idea.
As to remembering the sixties. Man, you can't be serious.
(Ed: this really is true?)
You keep asking me that and you will piss me off. Ask Cadillac Man as he remained non-deceased as well. You could ask him but I can tell you right now he has no idea either.
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