Dayum!
Sometimes I wonder if readers think of me as a geek in a circus biting the head off a chicken for tips ... but I don't get any tips. I haven't put up a Donate button back up because I'm not willing to take the beating that would inevitably come. I don't mean from Lotho, Yevette, Sister Julie, an un-named angel, Cat, lefty and Mrs lefty, Harry and his family, and some others ... none of them beat me on anything and there is no chance I would be here without them. But then we have Patricia, darling Patricia. She was the figurehead for the Get a Job, Asshole contingent. (She's not as vicious as she seems, just seriously misguided and hopelessly misinformed, and she wasn't the only one.)
This is part of the insanity now. Lotho and Cadillac Man have been dead loyal all my life but then this beating stuff begins and who the hell is doing it and why. It looked like Lotho was doing it but apparently he wasn't so you tell me what is real. That screwed me up more than anything as Lotho and I have been tight all our lives. There are six or seven people who could walk away and it would be devastating. He's one of them.
The middle brother has been starting fights with people the whole time and then saying 'just kidding.' No, dude, you weren't kidding.
The situation is getting worse quickly. I'm not going to go into any detail on that as I'll talk to Cat before anyone else. Nevertheless, things have been surprising the hell out of me over the last six months or so and I'm definitely DNR now. Silas is scheduled for a show this afternoon but I don't know if I can do it. I have already told Yevette I won't go to the hospital. If I go down and wake up in a hospital, I promise you I will be livid beyond any possible description. That's the only way this situation could possible get any worse. If I am out of control, I beg you not to do that to me.
So what's the good move. I need to be able to play for Cat as long as it is physically possible to do it. I need to do that for her and I need to do that for myself. I feel tremendous guilt for failing her as I told her I would never leave her. As far as wanting anyone else or even looking at anyone else, that's not hard to control but this is something different. The question isn't to you as you can't possibly answer it but I will find one.
The Way of Saint James has already been eliminated as a possibility and I've got no time for waffling. There's the possibility of doing a Walk for Peace or some such and just start walking. It would not bring about peace but it would get my picture in People magazine and people would want to know what kind of cupcakes I like ... but it wouldn't change anything.
This one has haunted me all my life as what can one person possibly do to stop the killing. The Weathermen started chucking bombs but that was stupid as the military loves that shit. Yah, homies, let's go blow some shit up. That was the General. I have no idea what the Weathermen said.
Everywhere people were shaving their heads and getting brown shirts. This was exactly what happened the last time and in exactly the same way ... and they line up by the thousands for it. There's not much in "Star Wars" but they did have this: "So this is how liberty dies .... to thunderous applause."
It became more and more clear that I was the only one left. There are some smart ones on Facebook but they're intellectualizing all the time and never do anything. I don't want to talk about this stuff anymore, I want it fixed and without any more damn excuses. Oh, man, it was that bad Muslim. Fuck you, dude. Don't whine. Fix the problem. You might (gasp) have to talk to people.
I'm somewhat sorry that I don't wish to be seen and I'm quite sure it's not something you would want to see. It's a very confusing situation in dealing with people. It isn't at all difficult in dealing with the circumstance as that just needs a little man stuff. I have no idea what the fuck people want, tho. There are very few people I would trust as I remember how they were when my ol' Dad died. Lotho and Tinkerbell were the only ones who didn't do it.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just don't have a very good answer. It seems to me that playing as rock hard as I possibly can is the only one that ever worked as I've been crazy all my life and that's the only thing that ever made any sense. That's not sorrowful either as what a nightmare it would have been without music and how empty it would have been if I had never met Cat.
The reason I write is that perhaps you get some benefit out of it. People are so stone terrified of dying and it eats up society with a billion different twisted manifestations of fear ... but dying isn't the hard part. The absolute worst is dying and thinking there is something you should have done. In my world, I didn't stop the killing and nothing absolves that failure. You will have your own. Recognize that and deal with it and the fear of death will drop sharply. It has little to do with religion. That's the after part. The before part is on you.
No matter what I ever played or whomever may have enjoyed it, there is no change to the feeling of failure that the wars just go on and on and on and it's been that way all my life. The generals are always so glib about the need for them ... until they come up with a glib reason to start another one. Of course they do. They don't know how to do anything else.
Maybe you think it's grandiose to think anyone can stop the killing but what else would do it.
Republicans call me a crackpot, fringe element wing nut, etc. That's the standard response for anything they can't counter with a rational argument.
There's always the old tired stand-by of calling me a Communist but I'm way to the left of such conservatives. In many ways they're just as restrictive as America so I have no use for them either. I haven't forgotten that Russia is the Land of Pussy Riot. I also haven't forgotten America is the Land of Leonard Peltier (still in jail after all these years). Really Russia is just another pack of corporate clods, they just wear better suits. (Unfair? Really ... well, check out Boehner and then take a look at Putin. Tell me who knows how to dress. Boehner is and never will be any more than a loudmouth in a cheap suit. He knows McConnell is sub-human so he keeps him around as a pet.)
In this context, I'm concerned about writing music reviews as there's a problem of guilt by association. I have no idea of the politics of any of the performers at Cat's Art MusikCircus. I would be surprised if they were right-wing as musicians very rarely are but anything is possible. (Unfair? Really. Let's hear the names of top-notch Republican guitarists. The list is very short and Ted Nugent doesn't count as that asshole has been playing the same lick for over forty years, much like Republicans in Congress ... except for McConnell who hasn't done anything in his entire career. Boehner never did much either but, boy, howdy, are they first in line to collect the PAC payoffs.)
There is no chance I will back off on my positions on various things and, to some extent, it forces the people I review into the same mold by writing reviews in the same stream. I'm going to write one anyway as it was incredible what happened last night but I'll talk more with Cat about this. It's not a big deal if people think I'm an infidel but it's a huge problem if that causes harm to the Circus as there would be no answer other than I couldn't go there anymore. This is not acceptable. So we will talk.
The Republicans instantly jump to their feet screaming outrage as those Democrats are getting bribed with PACs. There seems to be some kind of magical thinking that if they can show the Democrats do it then it makes it ok for everyone. No, in fact, it is a tacit admission of your own guilt and we'll tar and feather the Democrats too. In fact, the majority of people in office in Washington are bribed on a regular basis by the PACs and political affiliation has nothing to do with it. The salient point is that Republicans are guilty as sin and their self-righteousness on the matter will not serve to obfuscate it. That Democrats are guilty as well only increases the scope, it doesn't change the problem.
So, thanks for reading. I have no idea who you are. Maybe you just need coordinates to drone bomb my ass. I really don't know.
Here's what you all have been sending to the top:
Sometimes I wonder if readers think of me as a geek in a circus biting the head off a chicken for tips ... but I don't get any tips. I haven't put up a Donate button back up because I'm not willing to take the beating that would inevitably come. I don't mean from Lotho, Yevette, Sister Julie, an un-named angel, Cat, lefty and Mrs lefty, Harry and his family, and some others ... none of them beat me on anything and there is no chance I would be here without them. But then we have Patricia, darling Patricia. She was the figurehead for the Get a Job, Asshole contingent. (She's not as vicious as she seems, just seriously misguided and hopelessly misinformed, and she wasn't the only one.)
This is part of the insanity now. Lotho and Cadillac Man have been dead loyal all my life but then this beating stuff begins and who the hell is doing it and why. It looked like Lotho was doing it but apparently he wasn't so you tell me what is real. That screwed me up more than anything as Lotho and I have been tight all our lives. There are six or seven people who could walk away and it would be devastating. He's one of them.
The middle brother has been starting fights with people the whole time and then saying 'just kidding.' No, dude, you weren't kidding.
The situation is getting worse quickly. I'm not going to go into any detail on that as I'll talk to Cat before anyone else. Nevertheless, things have been surprising the hell out of me over the last six months or so and I'm definitely DNR now. Silas is scheduled for a show this afternoon but I don't know if I can do it. I have already told Yevette I won't go to the hospital. If I go down and wake up in a hospital, I promise you I will be livid beyond any possible description. That's the only way this situation could possible get any worse. If I am out of control, I beg you not to do that to me.
So what's the good move. I need to be able to play for Cat as long as it is physically possible to do it. I need to do that for her and I need to do that for myself. I feel tremendous guilt for failing her as I told her I would never leave her. As far as wanting anyone else or even looking at anyone else, that's not hard to control but this is something different. The question isn't to you as you can't possibly answer it but I will find one.
The Way of Saint James has already been eliminated as a possibility and I've got no time for waffling. There's the possibility of doing a Walk for Peace or some such and just start walking. It would not bring about peace but it would get my picture in People magazine and people would want to know what kind of cupcakes I like ... but it wouldn't change anything.
This one has haunted me all my life as what can one person possibly do to stop the killing. The Weathermen started chucking bombs but that was stupid as the military loves that shit. Yah, homies, let's go blow some shit up. That was the General. I have no idea what the Weathermen said.
Everywhere people were shaving their heads and getting brown shirts. This was exactly what happened the last time and in exactly the same way ... and they line up by the thousands for it. There's not much in "Star Wars" but they did have this: "So this is how liberty dies .... to thunderous applause."
It became more and more clear that I was the only one left. There are some smart ones on Facebook but they're intellectualizing all the time and never do anything. I don't want to talk about this stuff anymore, I want it fixed and without any more damn excuses. Oh, man, it was that bad Muslim. Fuck you, dude. Don't whine. Fix the problem. You might (gasp) have to talk to people.
I'm somewhat sorry that I don't wish to be seen and I'm quite sure it's not something you would want to see. It's a very confusing situation in dealing with people. It isn't at all difficult in dealing with the circumstance as that just needs a little man stuff. I have no idea what the fuck people want, tho. There are very few people I would trust as I remember how they were when my ol' Dad died. Lotho and Tinkerbell were the only ones who didn't do it.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just don't have a very good answer. It seems to me that playing as rock hard as I possibly can is the only one that ever worked as I've been crazy all my life and that's the only thing that ever made any sense. That's not sorrowful either as what a nightmare it would have been without music and how empty it would have been if I had never met Cat.
The reason I write is that perhaps you get some benefit out of it. People are so stone terrified of dying and it eats up society with a billion different twisted manifestations of fear ... but dying isn't the hard part. The absolute worst is dying and thinking there is something you should have done. In my world, I didn't stop the killing and nothing absolves that failure. You will have your own. Recognize that and deal with it and the fear of death will drop sharply. It has little to do with religion. That's the after part. The before part is on you.
No matter what I ever played or whomever may have enjoyed it, there is no change to the feeling of failure that the wars just go on and on and on and it's been that way all my life. The generals are always so glib about the need for them ... until they come up with a glib reason to start another one. Of course they do. They don't know how to do anything else.
Maybe you think it's grandiose to think anyone can stop the killing but what else would do it.
Republicans call me a crackpot, fringe element wing nut, etc. That's the standard response for anything they can't counter with a rational argument.
There's always the old tired stand-by of calling me a Communist but I'm way to the left of such conservatives. In many ways they're just as restrictive as America so I have no use for them either. I haven't forgotten that Russia is the Land of Pussy Riot. I also haven't forgotten America is the Land of Leonard Peltier (still in jail after all these years). Really Russia is just another pack of corporate clods, they just wear better suits. (Unfair? Really ... well, check out Boehner and then take a look at Putin. Tell me who knows how to dress. Boehner is and never will be any more than a loudmouth in a cheap suit. He knows McConnell is sub-human so he keeps him around as a pet.)
In this context, I'm concerned about writing music reviews as there's a problem of guilt by association. I have no idea of the politics of any of the performers at Cat's Art MusikCircus. I would be surprised if they were right-wing as musicians very rarely are but anything is possible. (Unfair? Really. Let's hear the names of top-notch Republican guitarists. The list is very short and Ted Nugent doesn't count as that asshole has been playing the same lick for over forty years, much like Republicans in Congress ... except for McConnell who hasn't done anything in his entire career. Boehner never did much either but, boy, howdy, are they first in line to collect the PAC payoffs.)
There is no chance I will back off on my positions on various things and, to some extent, it forces the people I review into the same mold by writing reviews in the same stream. I'm going to write one anyway as it was incredible what happened last night but I'll talk more with Cat about this. It's not a big deal if people think I'm an infidel but it's a huge problem if that causes harm to the Circus as there would be no answer other than I couldn't go there anymore. This is not acceptable. So we will talk.
The Republicans instantly jump to their feet screaming outrage as those Democrats are getting bribed with PACs. There seems to be some kind of magical thinking that if they can show the Democrats do it then it makes it ok for everyone. No, in fact, it is a tacit admission of your own guilt and we'll tar and feather the Democrats too. In fact, the majority of people in office in Washington are bribed on a regular basis by the PACs and political affiliation has nothing to do with it. The salient point is that Republicans are guilty as sin and their self-righteousness on the matter will not serve to obfuscate it. That Democrats are guilty as well only increases the scope, it doesn't change the problem.
So, thanks for reading. I have no idea who you are. Maybe you just need coordinates to drone bomb my ass. I really don't know.
Here's what you all have been sending to the top:
It cracks me up no end that apparently my legacy will be the articles on Shark Attacks in the Mediterranean. Maybe you like elephant jokes but I think this is very funny.
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