So, You Never Met Reverend Sasquatch

Some of you may have thought the good Reverend Silas T Sasquatch was faking but it never was.  He really was reading the Bible and he really was talking about it.  This one, however, is a little different.

(Reverend Sasquatch is most likely tagged as Alan Fraser in YouTube as a 'friend' said my alter-egos were a threat to blowing her secret on what she was doing on SL.)

The trouble with yer preachers is they bullshit you ... over and over and over.  Some priest will tell you about marriage when he's never boned anything in his life ... except another priest.  They tell you that you'll go to Heaven and it'll be really, really good, man.  They don't have even the remotest idea what might be in such a Heaven but they will tell you all about it.

This isn't heresy as God didn't write a word of it.  Neither did Jesus and, guess what, neither did the Holy Ghost.  If you've looked at it at all, the Bible is comprised of a number of Gospels that were written by any Tom, Dick, or Harry who came along for the next several centuries.  And the preachers even chucked out some of them.

That isn't a problem, however, as it still represents one of the few continuous histories and there's much to be learned from that.  Smashing gay people with clubs isn't in there, tho.

That one is such a huge favorite with the Church as you've got to wipe out those cocksuckers, don't you.  Why?  Who gives a shit what hobbies they have.  If you share one then join them in sucking cocks.  If you don't then get on with your busy day.  What the fuck.



Reverend Sasquatch has his own version of Christianity and, wtf, the Mormons made one up so why not make up another one.  So now here's a bit of non-bullshit religion.  (The purpose in writing this is to show the physics don't conflict with the Bible unless you force a conflict.)

There's a colossal Universe all around us and we marvel at it then wonder how the hell it got there.  OK, we push on back and find a Big Bang.  All very nice but what makes Big Bangs (choke).

There's all manner of double-talk in trying to jiggle cause and effect everywhere but toward common sense.  When the physicists can say it simply then you'll know they understand it.  Right now they don't.  The short answer is there is no good answer for what causes a Big Bang.

It's not the easiest answer that God started all this in motion but it survives a slash from Occam's Razor as it's definitely the least-complicated idea.  The easiest answer came from Hawking who said Time didn't exist before the Big Bang.  Yah, very nice.   I'm sure your arithmetic is nice and you checked your work ... just like the economics and their phony risk analysis on Wall Street that precipitated the mortgage crisis.  Their arithmetic was very good also ... but to a different purpose.  It was also complete hogwash.

I don't understand the physics of what Hawking was saying well enough to be clear on it but, generally speaking, positive and negative time flow from the same singularity that made the Big Bang.  They are mirror views of the same thing and Hawking has the mathematics to show this.

Presumably God made this Big Bang happen with some kind of idea what would come from it.  God, presumably, is not some kid who gets off on lighting an M-80 and then flushing it down the school toilet.  (Anyone remember that stuff?)

It seems logically reasonable to me that God would have his divine algorithm for what would come.  He's way too busy to screw around with creating every little tadpole in the Universe so the algorithm causes the Universe to create itself.  Ridiculous?  Um, honey, that's exactly what it did do.

Therefore I conclude that God did not make life come out of a rock in the original biogenesis on Earth ... but ... he would have known it would have happened and that was part of the plan.  In short, God did not so much create the Universe as empowered it to create itself.

It follows from this thinking that evolution must be another part of God's plan.  There's no reason for God to sit about and say, hey, I think we need a few more horses down there in the Serengeti.  No, no, hold it.  Give them stripes, I'd dig that.

Who cares what put stripes on a zebra as we can leave that to biologists because they need their hobbies too.  As to what gave the zebras bones, see above about God's plan.

There is no conflict between any of this and what you see in the Bible ... unless you take the words literally.  Please review any other words you take seriously from two thousand years ago.  Anything? Anything at all?

But God wrote this.  Um, no.  In fact, he didn't.

Maybe you wonder how God will answer your prayers if he is too busy to make tadpoles but you know when you do it that the prayer will probably not answered.  What you try to find is hope rather than a contract but why are you hoping for something you know can't happen.  You not only set yourself up for defeat but also your faith in God.  Don't ask for shit you can't have.  Most likely, if any prayer has worked anywhere it would probably be a prayer for someone else.

Some say the Bible is good for morality but let's see you live by the codes of two thousand years ago and let's see how long you last with those savages.  We're still extremely savage but they were so graphic about it what with slashing parts off with swords and ... you know it goes.  They were magnificently inventive in how they would fuck people up.  No thanks.  We already know what's moral.  We just don't always do it.

What about Heaven?

What can I say that has any more validity than anyone else who ever lived.  The idea as it is presented by most preachers sounds like the most excruciatingly boring drag imaginable ... so it's ludicrous that God would create such a thing for those he loves.  Therefore it is the same answer facing you as for everyone:  no-one knows.  The Pope has no more idea than you, he just has a stranger-looking dress.

There's only one thing for sure about Heaven:  you don't know.  Don't let anyone tell you it is or it isn't because they have no more idea than do you.  This is listen to your heart stuff, it isn't time to go find some penguin cleric.  That some of them have good intentions makes no difference.  They're trapped by their own dogma ... but we're not talking about dogma, we're talking about Heaven and the latter has nothing at all to do with dogma.  In my view, it would be close to perfect opposition.

Oh, forget about Hell also.  That's a great one for scaring children but God loves all his children so why would he burn some of them.  It makes no sense.  The Scots have all manner of creatures that will eat misbehaving children and, what do you know, here's another one.


Being God-fearing

Some regard this as a virtue but I just see it as pussy.  Why should God hurt you.  He's God!

There's not even a point in discussing this one.  I can't do anything with it.


Is this a Deathbed Confession?

Don't rush it.  I ain't there yet.  But, no, my views have not changed significantly on any of this in, oh, forever.  I spent quite a bit of time slashing Christians on AOL at one time as I wanted to see if any one of them actually thought about anything or just spouted dogma.  Almost invariably it was the latter and that's the easiest to destroy.  Of course, it was never real in the first place.

I don't expect anything.  My only thinking really is that I would prefer that it not be too unpleasant exiting the world.  In talking with people, that's what I hear more than anything else about what scares them about death.  They don't want doctors fucking with them and sticking tubes in them because they won't back off and then you can't get out.  That thinking is almost universal.  People aren't afraid of death so much as they're afraid of doctors.  The medical community has been woefully inadequate in dealing with this so the fear continues.  My own thinking is that if I go into a hospital there's no chance I'll come back out.  Death sucks bad enough but that too?  No fucking way.

It's scary but not terrifying.  I would prefer to be rather than not be but I understand none of us get a choice in this matter.

Hopefully spilling this stuff will be helpful to someone as, sure, it is scary and no-one wants to do it but we're stuck with it so get on with the show.


So, about those marijuana-eating rabbits.  Hear me, my children, as verily the rabbits go forth and ...