A bat is just a flying mouse, right? So that means, there were all of those li'l mouses wandering around and suddenly one gets the idea ... fellow mousies, I've got an idea. There's lots of cheese in the air so let's fly so we can get it.
His fellow mousies replied as one, "Check yo'self, dumb ass. You don't got wings."
And that's when evolution put wings on mouses so they could fly and would be able to catch flying cheese.
All together now: bulllllshite!
What really must have happened is God was sitting around with all the Angels and said, "How about we screw with them a little bit today and invent something really weird."
One Angel said, "Hey, how about a snail the size of an elephant?"
God said, "Well, yeah, love the scope of it but I'm not sure I love the slime trail so much."
Update: Divine Epiphany just came and I realized this steals Racerx Gullwing's Giant Snail idea. So, there's the fair credit to the Giant Snail Creator himself.
Update 2: The Great Snail Creator denies he is really the Creator or is possessed of Divinity ... but ... of course he would, wouldn't he. He also came up with a cock and bull story about seeing the Giant Snail elsewhere but this is the same as what he did with evolution: it's something to amuse the sciencers while he gets on with Creation.
(Ed: he's not finished yet?)
Dude, the Giant Snail Creator is only getting warmed-up.
Another Angel offered, "What say we put wheels on mountain goats!"
God just said, "WTF???"
Then the Angel said, "Sure. We will leave their front legs as they are for climbing up the mountain but the back legs will have wheels so they can come back down really stylin'."
God replied, "I'm going to keep my eye on you!"
Finally another Angel said, "What say we put wings on a mouse!"
God said this time, "OK, I'm listening. Let's hear the pros and cons."
The Angel said, "First is the one we love the most. Ten million years from now they won't have one flaming hope in Hell of figuring out how it got that way."
God said, "OK, I always love that one but try to lighten up on the use of that word. We try to go easy on that one up here."
The Angel said, "I really love this part. Way in the future, humans will invent vampire stories about them and scare the living Hell out of themselves!"
God said tersely, "I love the idea but I believe I have already mentioned that word. One more time and you spend a month listening to Newt Gingrich pray."
The Angel only whined, "Why, God?? None of the other Angels have to do it!"
God answered, "Because I fookin' said it and I'm the only fookin' Deity in this fookin' room."
So, there's yer answer and shows how bats prove evolution is bullshit.
(Ed: are you from North Carolina?)
How did you guess!
His fellow mousies replied as one, "Check yo'self, dumb ass. You don't got wings."
And that's when evolution put wings on mouses so they could fly and would be able to catch flying cheese.
All together now: bulllllshite!
What really must have happened is God was sitting around with all the Angels and said, "How about we screw with them a little bit today and invent something really weird."
One Angel said, "Hey, how about a snail the size of an elephant?"
God said, "Well, yeah, love the scope of it but I'm not sure I love the slime trail so much."
Update: Divine Epiphany just came and I realized this steals Racerx Gullwing's Giant Snail idea. So, there's the fair credit to the Giant Snail Creator himself.
Update 2: The Great Snail Creator denies he is really the Creator or is possessed of Divinity ... but ... of course he would, wouldn't he. He also came up with a cock and bull story about seeing the Giant Snail elsewhere but this is the same as what he did with evolution: it's something to amuse the sciencers while he gets on with Creation.
(Ed: he's not finished yet?)
Dude, the Giant Snail Creator is only getting warmed-up.
Another Angel offered, "What say we put wheels on mountain goats!"
God just said, "WTF???"
Then the Angel said, "Sure. We will leave their front legs as they are for climbing up the mountain but the back legs will have wheels so they can come back down really stylin'."
God replied, "I'm going to keep my eye on you!"
Finally another Angel said, "What say we put wings on a mouse!"
God said this time, "OK, I'm listening. Let's hear the pros and cons."
The Angel said, "First is the one we love the most. Ten million years from now they won't have one flaming hope in Hell of figuring out how it got that way."
God said, "OK, I always love that one but try to lighten up on the use of that word. We try to go easy on that one up here."
The Angel said, "I really love this part. Way in the future, humans will invent vampire stories about them and scare the living Hell out of themselves!"
God said tersely, "I love the idea but I believe I have already mentioned that word. One more time and you spend a month listening to Newt Gingrich pray."
The Angel only whined, "Why, God?? None of the other Angels have to do it!"
God answered, "Because I fookin' said it and I'm the only fookin' Deity in this fookin' room."
So, there's yer answer and shows how bats prove evolution is bullshit.
(Ed: are you from North Carolina?)
How did you guess!
No comments:
Post a Comment