Sarah Marsh offers words from thirty+ year old virgins and she does it with great sensitivity by backing any narcissistic journo stuff out of it and letting people tell it for themselves. (The Guardian: How it feels to be a virgin in your 30s and 40s: our readers share their stories)
We're not going to mock anyone as we're highly sympathetic to situations in which people almost never bring it down on themselves. If you ask someone to forego sex, you know, just for giggles ... don't ever have sex in your life. Anyone would laugh in your face. You know in your own life it couldn't be voluntary except by inordinately strict religious discipline ... which isn't really voluntary anyway.
Maybe someone's physical appearance just isn't attractive to other people and who knows why but that's the fact of it and the person winds up a virgin. Probably over time the person will turn to fat and die. You know the truth of that and you can see it all over the place in people who have given up sex. The same thing happens unless it's religious discipline and often then as well anyway.
It's tragic because there may not be any solution for some problems. I know for sure people who are wild mismatches for just about anyone else sometimes get some kind of luck and find each other. There are two friends from way back and they were mad in love with each other. They were still married as of a few years ago.
Part of the problem is being receptive to it. I have no advice on how to find each other, only that they did so it must be possible. These two are brilliant mathematicians but probably won't be posing as Ken and Barbie models any time soon. They have lovely hearts and they show that in the length of their marriage. In fact, the Mystery Lady made their wedding cake and that was the looniest wedding cake you ever saw but it was really cool. Think green and purple wedding cake with fruit on it and you are entering a whole new dimension. It's a really cool one, tho. You'll love it.
If beatniks had the idea ... they would have done it too. Ha!
Another friend from way back was in lifetime confinement to a wheelchair due to spina bifida but he had a crackerjack mind and he loved computers. He too had a mad love and they married as well. We lost touch somewhere along the line but I can tell you for sure they were crazy about each other.
The purpose isn't to get all Shirley Temple with you can find love, even you, but it's much more difficult than that and, for some, almost insurmountable. Maybe it goes the same the other way around as, even if you're hot, you're still one in a thousand in a club.
Even in simply writing about it, there's the risk of being patronizing but Sarah Marsh does well. I'm not sure how it will help in 'raising awareness' as what really comes from that. We already know people don't get laid and what do you think made Facebook but what should they do about it other than obviously not Facebook where they just talk and rarely do anything.
Part of what makes me sympathetic is I've had multiple good friends who were majorly confined to wheelchairs, often with severely-disabling physical limitations. One friend had an incredibly difficult time with speech and everything else but her mind was sharp and her heart was so pure. If you think of angels on earth, she was one of them. We spoke many times because we worked not so far from each other at the university.
There was another and he had a mad love for music. We had connected for some while and I had enjoyed his music and I'm sure mine amused him (larfs) but I never knew he was in a wheelchair until I met him. It was the same with this man and the angel. He had the same loving spirit. I had some of his tapes until not so long ago but none of the cassettes survived, regrettably. I even had some four-track cassettes I made with the Mystery Lady but they were toast after the machine died and no way to salvage them.
They didn't work so far from each other but maybe you think they're both in wheelchairs, couldn't they fall in love. But think of the wrongness of that. Is that the rule for people in wheelchairs? It doesn't work like that, at least not with anyone I have known. People see a spark for who knows what reason and you, hopefully, know how that goes from your own life.
Some people you never forget and these are some from my life.
I write as things strike me. I'm not looking for any solid pattern.
We're not going to mock anyone as we're highly sympathetic to situations in which people almost never bring it down on themselves. If you ask someone to forego sex, you know, just for giggles ... don't ever have sex in your life. Anyone would laugh in your face. You know in your own life it couldn't be voluntary except by inordinately strict religious discipline ... which isn't really voluntary anyway.
Maybe someone's physical appearance just isn't attractive to other people and who knows why but that's the fact of it and the person winds up a virgin. Probably over time the person will turn to fat and die. You know the truth of that and you can see it all over the place in people who have given up sex. The same thing happens unless it's religious discipline and often then as well anyway.
It's tragic because there may not be any solution for some problems. I know for sure people who are wild mismatches for just about anyone else sometimes get some kind of luck and find each other. There are two friends from way back and they were mad in love with each other. They were still married as of a few years ago.
Part of the problem is being receptive to it. I have no advice on how to find each other, only that they did so it must be possible. These two are brilliant mathematicians but probably won't be posing as Ken and Barbie models any time soon. They have lovely hearts and they show that in the length of their marriage. In fact, the Mystery Lady made their wedding cake and that was the looniest wedding cake you ever saw but it was really cool. Think green and purple wedding cake with fruit on it and you are entering a whole new dimension. It's a really cool one, tho. You'll love it.
If beatniks had the idea ... they would have done it too. Ha!
Another friend from way back was in lifetime confinement to a wheelchair due to spina bifida but he had a crackerjack mind and he loved computers. He too had a mad love and they married as well. We lost touch somewhere along the line but I can tell you for sure they were crazy about each other.
The purpose isn't to get all Shirley Temple with you can find love, even you, but it's much more difficult than that and, for some, almost insurmountable. Maybe it goes the same the other way around as, even if you're hot, you're still one in a thousand in a club.
Even in simply writing about it, there's the risk of being patronizing but Sarah Marsh does well. I'm not sure how it will help in 'raising awareness' as what really comes from that. We already know people don't get laid and what do you think made Facebook but what should they do about it other than obviously not Facebook where they just talk and rarely do anything.
Part of what makes me sympathetic is I've had multiple good friends who were majorly confined to wheelchairs, often with severely-disabling physical limitations. One friend had an incredibly difficult time with speech and everything else but her mind was sharp and her heart was so pure. If you think of angels on earth, she was one of them. We spoke many times because we worked not so far from each other at the university.
There was another and he had a mad love for music. We had connected for some while and I had enjoyed his music and I'm sure mine amused him (larfs) but I never knew he was in a wheelchair until I met him. It was the same with this man and the angel. He had the same loving spirit. I had some of his tapes until not so long ago but none of the cassettes survived, regrettably. I even had some four-track cassettes I made with the Mystery Lady but they were toast after the machine died and no way to salvage them.
They didn't work so far from each other but maybe you think they're both in wheelchairs, couldn't they fall in love. But think of the wrongness of that. Is that the rule for people in wheelchairs? It doesn't work like that, at least not with anyone I have known. People see a spark for who knows what reason and you, hopefully, know how that goes from your own life.
Some people you never forget and these are some from my life.
I write as things strike me. I'm not looking for any solid pattern.
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