Friday, November 4, 2016

Alice in Dunderland or How the Sith Lords Took Lilliput

You probably already know Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore but what we have determined is Alice doesn't live anywhere.

Ed:  she went to Dunderland?

Right you are, laddie, and 'tis a sad thing.

There are lots of little toys that look like her and they make whirring noises while they move up and down the lonely corridors in Facebook.  Every so often one stops and its mechanical hat goes up and down while its nose and boobies blink different colors.

It spouts, using a scratchy voice, "Trump is an asshole.  Trump is an asshole."

Then it spins around several times and goes back the way it came.


As soon as I see one I leave so visits to Facebook don't last long.  After all, we remember how the Sith Lords took over Lilliput, don't we.

Ed:  the same way they took Facebook?

Don't be silly.  Even Sith Lords don't want Facebook.  That's why they made it in the first place.  It keeps those goddamn annoying anti-Trump 'bots out of the way and then others don't have to watch.


The only political commercial I have seen all season was when the Chicago Cubs won the World Series.

Ed:  how was that political?

See, that's what I'm tellin' you, laddie.

Ed:  I have no idea what the fuck you're telling me!

Try to relax, mate.

Om ... Om ... Om ...


Be happy you don't live where these are.


Ed:  oy, I live in Australia.

Well, I guess you do live where they are then.


Note:  that's not fake as it's a Huntsman spider and they're common in Australia although not usually quite that large.  You actually have much in common since you hate bugs and they eat lots of them.  It's an obvious love connection.  (RT:  Arachnophobes look away: Giant huntsman spider nicknamed Charlotte discovered in Australia (PHOTO))

Besides, don't be such a pussy.  That's a girl standing there.  She's got a ponytail.

Ed:  or a hippie who still doesn't get it that Mohammad doesn't care how long he grows his hair.

That too.


Huntsman spiders are known to hideout in cars in Australia.

Only days ago, a man in Lake Cathie got a fright when a huntsman hopped onto his arm while he was driving and, instead of slamming on the brakes, he unfortunately hit the accelerator, prompting both him and the spider to plunge into the lake.




- RT

The interested student is invited to discover how the Huntsman spiders can get the doors open on the cars.


Well, you can be happy you can smell things with your lungs then.  (Science Daily:  Can you smell through your lungs?)

Ed:  why should I be happy about that?

Read the article and discover how happy the scientists were to learn of it.

No one had previously suspected that olfactory receptors would be present in airways past the nasal cavity.  But working with human smooth muscle cells isolated and grown from the healthy parts of airway tissue surrounding excised tumors, Benjamin Kalbe and his colleagues applied a large number of odor molecules and watched two of them activate the muscle cells.

See, it's what I'm tellin' you, mate.

Ed:  I don't know what the fuck you're telling me!

Gee, that anger management therapy isn't working so well, is it.


Let's try some free word association ...

CAR BUMPER

Ed:  breasts

TROPICAL FISH

Ed:  breasts

ELECTION

Ed:  I'm going to rip out your fucking lungs and ...

Turn yourself in for reprogramming, mate.  You've got it bad.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

could have been my car in the lake lol

Unknown said...

I hope it floats better than that one!