There is probably no song in all of human history that's hated by more men than "My Heart Will Go On" and, amazingly enough, it comes from "Titanic," a movie that, again in all history, has never been hated so much. Every man unfortunate enough to be in the audience for the movie made a pact with the Devil before it was over: please, whatever I have to do, just sink that fucking boat and let me go home.
Indirectly, hoping the ship will sink soon is the same as I hope Leonard DeCaprio drowns as it was the only suitable punishment for being involved in such a banal piece of crap. Drown, you annoying, insipid milksop, and be quick about it. There's still time to save this evening if only we can get the hell out of this movie house. Yes, yes, very sad. Do you want to have sex or what?
So the modified lyrics have been floating obsessively around in my head.
Deep, down, wherever you drowned
I'm so glad you are gone
Once more I empty my drawers
And you float in the dark
And you float away the dark
Oh, oh, oh, I'm SO ashamed.
No, I'm not. They ban harmless porno but this rubbish is the cinematic equivalent of putting burning dog poo on a neighbor's doorstep as the neighbor is the boyfriend who gets dragged to the damn show and has to clean the poo off his shoes when it's over.
So, yah, I do hope Leonard DeCaprio drowns.
Update:
It did not occur to me that I was invoking American slang with 'drawers' as, in that context, it is a reference to one's underwear rather than a drawer in a cabinet. The rest could mean Mister DiCaprio is the consequence of a bowel movement and that wasn't my intention ... but I'm fine with it.
Indirectly, hoping the ship will sink soon is the same as I hope Leonard DeCaprio drowns as it was the only suitable punishment for being involved in such a banal piece of crap. Drown, you annoying, insipid milksop, and be quick about it. There's still time to save this evening if only we can get the hell out of this movie house. Yes, yes, very sad. Do you want to have sex or what?
So the modified lyrics have been floating obsessively around in my head.
Deep, down, wherever you drowned
I'm so glad you are gone
Once more I empty my drawers
And you float in the dark
And you float away the dark
Oh, oh, oh, I'm SO ashamed.
No, I'm not. They ban harmless porno but this rubbish is the cinematic equivalent of putting burning dog poo on a neighbor's doorstep as the neighbor is the boyfriend who gets dragged to the damn show and has to clean the poo off his shoes when it's over.
So, yah, I do hope Leonard DeCaprio drowns.
Update:
It did not occur to me that I was invoking American slang with 'drawers' as, in that context, it is a reference to one's underwear rather than a drawer in a cabinet. The rest could mean Mister DiCaprio is the consequence of a bowel movement and that wasn't my intention ... but I'm fine with it.
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