Goldberg and Margolis walked toward the exercise area followed by an eager entourage and they made their way to meet the dogs. They received quite a reception as this was the first time since this started that all of the dogs had been together and they were obviously excited. All twenty-four dogs gathered around the visitors the moment they entered the cavern with many of them saying, "Hi, hi hi."
"Astonishing," said Doctor Kreitoff.
Goldberg turned to Roger and asked, "Do you by any chance have a soccer ball in here?"
"Sure, we have sports gear. We even have a music room. Knock me down and tell me you're going to teach them to play musical instruments too," said Roger.
"Well, someone taught an elephant to paint so maybe we should think about it," laughed Goldberg.
Just a moment and I'll find a soccer ball," said Roger and went off to see what he could locate.
"Soccer," questioned Doctor Kreitoff.
"Oh yes," replied Goldberg happily. "They rather like soccer. It doesn't have much for rules but they love to play."
William trotted up to him and said, "Soccer."
It was so funny to hear them talk. Their mouths hadn't physically changed so they couldn't fully enunciate their words but their speech was still generally clear enough to understand what they were saying.
A thought suddenly came to Goldberg and he said to Susan, "Do you know the Professor has named two of his dogs after you and your husband?"
"Oh my gosh," she replied. "We won't know if he is talking about us or his dogs."
She laughed and then called out, "Susan!"
The dog dutifully ran over to her and Susan had a good laugh over it. She knelt to scratch her namesake behind the ears and both were quite happy with each other.
After enjoying the scratching for a moment, the dog said, "TV?"
Roger was just then returning with the soccer ball and simply repeated what the dog had said, "TV?"
Goldberg replied, "Oh yes. They rather like watching television. The Professor said their favorite is The Big Bang Theory."
"It's not enough to get them to talk. You want to make them physicists," asked Roger.
"No, no. They picked the show quite by accident. The Professor was working on his computer while the television was running in the background. He wasn't paying any attention to it until he noticed the dogs were lined up in front of it."
"Not a problem. There are spare monitors in the warehouse and it will be a simple matter to run a line in here to drive it."
Susan added, "I hope they don't believe the commercials or they will all start eating potato chips and get fat!"
Susan the dog said, "Want food."
"I laid in supplies of dog chow before you arrived and they looked at me a little strangely when I got ten bowls. They're over by the wall," said Roger.
All of them went over to the barrel with the dog chow and started setting out food for the dogs.
Susan followed them and smelled the dog chow but then looked up and said, "Want good food."
Goldberg said, "This is good food."
Susan replied, "You not eat."
Goldberg watched her wagging her tail at him, waiting for a response and then he said, "Good point."
He thought about things for a moment longer then he picked up a nugget of the dog chow and popped it into his mouth to chew it.
"We are going to have to be very careful with you guys, aren't we," said Goldberg, quite amused by what had just happened.
Doctor Kreitoff said, "They speak in sentences!"
"That's new, Doctor. I haven't heard them do this before. The speed this is developing is as much of a surprise to us as it is to you. This is the first time anyone in the world has tried an experiment of this nature and we are very encouraged by what we have been recording."
"Is there a protocol you are observing for their education," asked Kreitoff.
Margolis replied, "Gill has been trying to develop one but they are learning so quickly that he keeps needing to re-formulate it. Our understanding of canine intelligence appears to have undershot the reality by a large margin. By extension, it seems quite likely that this will be found to be true across the entire animal kingdom."
"Most intriguing," replied Kreitoff.
After a moment Kreitoff continued, "If there is any way I can assist in your research, please ask. I hope I won't be called to exercise my professional skills too much here and I would be happy to help and to learn more."
"Of course and thank you for asking," said Goldberg.
"What about cows," said Susan.
"What about them," asked Goldberg.
"It's tough to believe there's much intelligence in a cow as every cow in a pasture will turn to see who said hello if you shout Moo at them. Or perhaps they are intelligent and I'm just rationalising that they are not just to make it ok to eat them."
"I do tend to agree with you that they're not very intelligent. For example, I know of one cow that fell in love with a friend of mine," said Goldberg.
"Practically any animal will bond with a person who shows the animal kindness," replied Susan.
"That's true but this was more than bonding," said Goldberg. "The cow would wait, mooning for her until she came to visit and then the cow would lick her when she arrived. Being licked by a ruminant animal is not such a good thing as their tongues are extremely rough!"
Susan laughed but then asked, "How about chimps?".
"Yes. They're obviously intelligent but this is another of the areas in which the ethical considerations come into it. The Professor spent years studying the anatomy of the animals to be selected for the first experiments and there were several reasons he avoided upper primates. The first is that many are endangered and another is that many are too dangerous for a lab setting. A young chimpanzee is very cute but an adult is very much stronger than a man. The Scottish Highland Terriers were selected because they're not even close to endangered, they're smart and very biddable, their breeding cycle is appropriate to the term of the experiment, etc."
While they were talking the dogs finished eating and gathered around them again. Many of them were focused on Roger as they were quite interested in the soccer ball. He threw it out onto the grass and all of them ran after it. Unlike most dogs, they had no intention of bringing it back and instead started pushing it around in their version of soccer.
"Hmmm," mused Goldberg. "Roger, do you have anything we might use to mark out goals on the field?"
"I have some poles we could plant in the grass. They're not very tall but neither are the dogs. Would you like to try them?"
"Yes, please," replied Goldberg. "That sounds interesting."
"Is this science or just screwing around," asked Margolis.
"A bit of both, really," he replied. "Dogs will naturally form packs even without regard for size or breed. Scottish Highland Terriers will ordinarily work solo for herding sheep, etc but we've already seen them loosely form teams. I'm interested in how far they will take their socialising toward such an unusual purpose when we don't give them much training."
"I'm concerned about the time we have lost on working with them on vocabulary," said Margolis.
"So am I but part of this will be the introduction of some sports words like goal, team, play, and the like. Actual sports coaches often say that things learned playing team sports will apply to the rest of the kids' lives and there's some truth to that. I'm interested to know if that would apply as well with the dogs."
"Just so long as you're not trying to teach them physics, I'm with you," said Susan.
"Physics isn't the problem but rather the physics jokes," laughed Margolis. Maybe we could work up some more behavioural psychology in studying how it takes with a group of physicists before one tells a joke about Schrödinger's cat."
Ignoring what she had said, Kreitoff asked, "Do you think they will differentiate positions on their teams. I'm wondering if one or more dogs will become goaltenders or other specialised positions."
"Exactly," said Goldberg. "There are many behavioural aspects to this. We can put out the goal posts and see if they get the idea simply from that presence. I would love to run around with them to show them the game but my greatest curiosity is to how much they will learn on their own."
"Here's a thought. Would it aid your plan if we showed them soccer on television," asked Kreitoff.
"Excellent thought, Doctor. I'm sure no dog has ever previously learned something from television and it would be an interesting inductive leap for them to transfer any knowledge from the television to their own game, particularly if we don't instruct them," replied Goldberg.
"So much for the screwing around part," said Margolis.
"Yah, it looks like we backed into science," said Goldberg with a mock sniff of disappointment.
Roger had come back with four poles balanced across his arms and was waiting patiently. Goldberg relieved him of two of them and both started walking out onto the field to plant them. Once they were satisfied they were at a good distance from each other they set up their goals, surveying them one more time before giving thumbs up signals to each other, and then returned to the others.
As they got close to the group again, Roger said, "You kids might want to catch up with the rest of the broadcast. I'm happy to sit back here and look after the dogs and I promise not to teach them any bad habits or dirty words."
"I've been feeling a bit guilty about skipping out on that," said Margolis.
"Tell you what. We will watch them for a while and then rejoin you to show you to your sleeping areas, where to shower, and maybe most of important of all we will show you the kitchen."
Goldberg and Margolis smiled and then turned about to go back to the community area. As they walked away, Margolis said, "They don't seem to have much interest in what's happening in Washington."
"I noticed that too. At the rate we're accumulating unusual things around here, any minute now we will be making the Mad Hatter's six impossible things before breakfast look like the amateur league."
"Cute, Baby. Maybe we can come up with some unusual things of our own later."
Goldberg stopped in his tracks and said, "I find my interest in the news is suddenly dropping, Jane."
"Get on with it, big boy. We don't even know which room is ours," said Margolis as she tried unsuccessfully to suppress a giggle.
"Astonishing," said Doctor Kreitoff.
Goldberg turned to Roger and asked, "Do you by any chance have a soccer ball in here?"
"Sure, we have sports gear. We even have a music room. Knock me down and tell me you're going to teach them to play musical instruments too," said Roger.
"Well, someone taught an elephant to paint so maybe we should think about it," laughed Goldberg.
Just a moment and I'll find a soccer ball," said Roger and went off to see what he could locate.
"Soccer," questioned Doctor Kreitoff.
"Oh yes," replied Goldberg happily. "They rather like soccer. It doesn't have much for rules but they love to play."
William trotted up to him and said, "Soccer."
It was so funny to hear them talk. Their mouths hadn't physically changed so they couldn't fully enunciate their words but their speech was still generally clear enough to understand what they were saying.
A thought suddenly came to Goldberg and he said to Susan, "Do you know the Professor has named two of his dogs after you and your husband?"
"Oh my gosh," she replied. "We won't know if he is talking about us or his dogs."
She laughed and then called out, "Susan!"
The dog dutifully ran over to her and Susan had a good laugh over it. She knelt to scratch her namesake behind the ears and both were quite happy with each other.
After enjoying the scratching for a moment, the dog said, "TV?"
Roger was just then returning with the soccer ball and simply repeated what the dog had said, "TV?"
Goldberg replied, "Oh yes. They rather like watching television. The Professor said their favorite is The Big Bang Theory."
"It's not enough to get them to talk. You want to make them physicists," asked Roger.
"No, no. They picked the show quite by accident. The Professor was working on his computer while the television was running in the background. He wasn't paying any attention to it until he noticed the dogs were lined up in front of it."
"Not a problem. There are spare monitors in the warehouse and it will be a simple matter to run a line in here to drive it."
Susan added, "I hope they don't believe the commercials or they will all start eating potato chips and get fat!"
Susan the dog said, "Want food."
"I laid in supplies of dog chow before you arrived and they looked at me a little strangely when I got ten bowls. They're over by the wall," said Roger.
All of them went over to the barrel with the dog chow and started setting out food for the dogs.
Susan followed them and smelled the dog chow but then looked up and said, "Want good food."
Goldberg said, "This is good food."
Susan replied, "You not eat."
Goldberg watched her wagging her tail at him, waiting for a response and then he said, "Good point."
He thought about things for a moment longer then he picked up a nugget of the dog chow and popped it into his mouth to chew it.
"We are going to have to be very careful with you guys, aren't we," said Goldberg, quite amused by what had just happened.
Doctor Kreitoff said, "They speak in sentences!"
"That's new, Doctor. I haven't heard them do this before. The speed this is developing is as much of a surprise to us as it is to you. This is the first time anyone in the world has tried an experiment of this nature and we are very encouraged by what we have been recording."
"Is there a protocol you are observing for their education," asked Kreitoff.
Margolis replied, "Gill has been trying to develop one but they are learning so quickly that he keeps needing to re-formulate it. Our understanding of canine intelligence appears to have undershot the reality by a large margin. By extension, it seems quite likely that this will be found to be true across the entire animal kingdom."
"Most intriguing," replied Kreitoff.
After a moment Kreitoff continued, "If there is any way I can assist in your research, please ask. I hope I won't be called to exercise my professional skills too much here and I would be happy to help and to learn more."
"Of course and thank you for asking," said Goldberg.
"What about cows," said Susan.
"What about them," asked Goldberg.
"It's tough to believe there's much intelligence in a cow as every cow in a pasture will turn to see who said hello if you shout Moo at them. Or perhaps they are intelligent and I'm just rationalising that they are not just to make it ok to eat them."
"I do tend to agree with you that they're not very intelligent. For example, I know of one cow that fell in love with a friend of mine," said Goldberg.
"Practically any animal will bond with a person who shows the animal kindness," replied Susan.
"That's true but this was more than bonding," said Goldberg. "The cow would wait, mooning for her until she came to visit and then the cow would lick her when she arrived. Being licked by a ruminant animal is not such a good thing as their tongues are extremely rough!"
Susan laughed but then asked, "How about chimps?".
"Yes. They're obviously intelligent but this is another of the areas in which the ethical considerations come into it. The Professor spent years studying the anatomy of the animals to be selected for the first experiments and there were several reasons he avoided upper primates. The first is that many are endangered and another is that many are too dangerous for a lab setting. A young chimpanzee is very cute but an adult is very much stronger than a man. The Scottish Highland Terriers were selected because they're not even close to endangered, they're smart and very biddable, their breeding cycle is appropriate to the term of the experiment, etc."
While they were talking the dogs finished eating and gathered around them again. Many of them were focused on Roger as they were quite interested in the soccer ball. He threw it out onto the grass and all of them ran after it. Unlike most dogs, they had no intention of bringing it back and instead started pushing it around in their version of soccer.
"Hmmm," mused Goldberg. "Roger, do you have anything we might use to mark out goals on the field?"
"I have some poles we could plant in the grass. They're not very tall but neither are the dogs. Would you like to try them?"
"Yes, please," replied Goldberg. "That sounds interesting."
"Is this science or just screwing around," asked Margolis.
"A bit of both, really," he replied. "Dogs will naturally form packs even without regard for size or breed. Scottish Highland Terriers will ordinarily work solo for herding sheep, etc but we've already seen them loosely form teams. I'm interested in how far they will take their socialising toward such an unusual purpose when we don't give them much training."
"I'm concerned about the time we have lost on working with them on vocabulary," said Margolis.
"So am I but part of this will be the introduction of some sports words like goal, team, play, and the like. Actual sports coaches often say that things learned playing team sports will apply to the rest of the kids' lives and there's some truth to that. I'm interested to know if that would apply as well with the dogs."
"Just so long as you're not trying to teach them physics, I'm with you," said Susan.
"Physics isn't the problem but rather the physics jokes," laughed Margolis. Maybe we could work up some more behavioural psychology in studying how it takes with a group of physicists before one tells a joke about Schrödinger's cat."
Ignoring what she had said, Kreitoff asked, "Do you think they will differentiate positions on their teams. I'm wondering if one or more dogs will become goaltenders or other specialised positions."
"Exactly," said Goldberg. "There are many behavioural aspects to this. We can put out the goal posts and see if they get the idea simply from that presence. I would love to run around with them to show them the game but my greatest curiosity is to how much they will learn on their own."
"Here's a thought. Would it aid your plan if we showed them soccer on television," asked Kreitoff.
"Excellent thought, Doctor. I'm sure no dog has ever previously learned something from television and it would be an interesting inductive leap for them to transfer any knowledge from the television to their own game, particularly if we don't instruct them," replied Goldberg.
"So much for the screwing around part," said Margolis.
"Yah, it looks like we backed into science," said Goldberg with a mock sniff of disappointment.
Roger had come back with four poles balanced across his arms and was waiting patiently. Goldberg relieved him of two of them and both started walking out onto the field to plant them. Once they were satisfied they were at a good distance from each other they set up their goals, surveying them one more time before giving thumbs up signals to each other, and then returned to the others.
As they got close to the group again, Roger said, "You kids might want to catch up with the rest of the broadcast. I'm happy to sit back here and look after the dogs and I promise not to teach them any bad habits or dirty words."
"I've been feeling a bit guilty about skipping out on that," said Margolis.
"Tell you what. We will watch them for a while and then rejoin you to show you to your sleeping areas, where to shower, and maybe most of important of all we will show you the kitchen."
Goldberg and Margolis smiled and then turned about to go back to the community area. As they walked away, Margolis said, "They don't seem to have much interest in what's happening in Washington."
"I noticed that too. At the rate we're accumulating unusual things around here, any minute now we will be making the Mad Hatter's six impossible things before breakfast look like the amateur league."
"Cute, Baby. Maybe we can come up with some unusual things of our own later."
Goldberg stopped in his tracks and said, "I find my interest in the news is suddenly dropping, Jane."
"Get on with it, big boy. We don't even know which room is ours," said Margolis as she tried unsuccessfully to suppress a giggle.
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