Thursday, February 23, 2017

The Ongoing Crisis with British Garden Gnomes

According to home insurers Home Protect, fewer Britons now own gnomes than ever before, with many blaming theft as the cause of the declining population of the twee garden ornament.

- Russia Today: Garden gnomes are disappearing in Britain

Note:  use of the word 'twee' proves a Brit wrote the article rather than some Muscovite Commie since no-one outside the British Isles has ever used the word.



Four in five gnome owners said they have lost at least one gnome in the last five years, with the north of England being the most affected.  Households in the north said they had lost up to 3.8 gnomes and over a third of gnome owners in the north east said they had lost more than five of their backyard adornments.

- RT

When you have put out five garden gnomes and all have been stolen, it might be time to reevaluate your horticultural objectives or at least your security system.


The worst horror of the Garden Gnome Crisis is supporters of UKIP seem most affected by it.

Politically, gnomes tend to stick to gardens of staunch Labour voters, with over 18 percent of gnome owners supporting Jeremy Corbyn’s party.  But it was conservative homes that had most of their gnomes stolen, with UK Independence Party (UKIP) voters having the worst luck.  Supporters of the Euroskeptic party had the most gnomes stolen over the past five years compared to voters from almost any other party.

- RT

Ed:  see, those damn Socialist parasites in the Labour Party are stealing the garden gnomes from the good Nationalists of UKIP!

What sense does that make when the garden gnomes aren't being stolen from the Labour Party.  They have no need to steal them when they have them already.

Ed:  it's those damn refugee Muslims then!

It's funny, you know, as I'm not a garden gnome expert but I don't believe there's a strong demand in the Muslim community to possess one.



Here's a good Labour Party gnome and we know that because it hasn't been stolen.  He tries to ride his tortoise about the realm but he has that WTF look as he sees what the people are doing to it.


Sometimes the answer is to go fishing.


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