Mixed-Up Christianity should have been the fair warning about this movie so anyone with more to do than cleaning grout in the bathroom could have skipped it. There were also way too many long pauses for heavy musical effect and these became as annoying and amateurish as CNN's autoplay commercials.
Denzel Washington starred as a man in a post-nuclear world and he was carrying a book out West. It became clear relatively quickly the book was probably a Bible but what was he doing with it and why him. There was no answer and such things were vague and confused.
We were stunned by our hero's supernatural speed with a machete but he only used it to slice up bad people, quite a spectacular few of them. It seemed we were to attribute that to faith since there was no other explanation for his ability to kill twenty people in the same room by himself.
In time he told us he was taking the Bible out West and faith was guiding him to his destination. He came to his mission after the Flash which was presumably the nuke war. The ones who survived immediately burned all the Bibles but that didn't explain who burned them. Good guys? Bad guys? Space Aliens?
He added further in his explanation, "Some say the Bible was the cause of the war."
Well, that's a top shelf recommendation for anything, isn't it.
Might have caused a nuke war but not sure.
Washington had a Vision to tell him this was where to find the only remaining Bible in the country and then he must take it out West.
Skipping over a whole lot of mindless violence, Washington ended up out West but with a bullet in him. He dictated the entire Bible to the incipient civilization biding its time on Alcatraz Island. They had only just got the world's only printing press working so the first thing it printed was the Bible.
Then our hero died. Here lies Eli.
His brave young female companion with whom he shared a strictly platonic relationship then took up Washington's machete to go back out onto the road. She wasn't carrying a Bible this time but she was going to go back home which presumably remained the hellhole of violence it had been when she left. She had also apparently seen a Vision of God so her faith was to do something equally improbable now that she had apparently inherited Washington's supernatural powers with a machete.
Get a double order of popcorn for this one because you will throw most of it at the screen.
Denzel Washington starred as a man in a post-nuclear world and he was carrying a book out West. It became clear relatively quickly the book was probably a Bible but what was he doing with it and why him. There was no answer and such things were vague and confused.
We were stunned by our hero's supernatural speed with a machete but he only used it to slice up bad people, quite a spectacular few of them. It seemed we were to attribute that to faith since there was no other explanation for his ability to kill twenty people in the same room by himself.
In time he told us he was taking the Bible out West and faith was guiding him to his destination. He came to his mission after the Flash which was presumably the nuke war. The ones who survived immediately burned all the Bibles but that didn't explain who burned them. Good guys? Bad guys? Space Aliens?
He added further in his explanation, "Some say the Bible was the cause of the war."
Well, that's a top shelf recommendation for anything, isn't it.
Might have caused a nuke war but not sure.
Washington had a Vision to tell him this was where to find the only remaining Bible in the country and then he must take it out West.
Skipping over a whole lot of mindless violence, Washington ended up out West but with a bullet in him. He dictated the entire Bible to the incipient civilization biding its time on Alcatraz Island. They had only just got the world's only printing press working so the first thing it printed was the Bible.
Then our hero died. Here lies Eli.
His brave young female companion with whom he shared a strictly platonic relationship then took up Washington's machete to go back out onto the road. She wasn't carrying a Bible this time but she was going to go back home which presumably remained the hellhole of violence it had been when she left. She had also apparently seen a Vision of God so her faith was to do something equally improbable now that she had apparently inherited Washington's supernatural powers with a machete.
Get a double order of popcorn for this one because you will throw most of it at the screen.
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