After winning the billion-dollar lottery, assuming I actually buy a ticket, there are certain things which need to be done. Assume for the sake of discussion, I've already done the important things such as buying a helicopter, a private island, and a private Navy to ensure no-one can come in there to erect cellphone towers.
After the important business, there is one immediate requirement and that's to get a demolition crew to tear down that Washington Monument, that giant white concrete penis which is said to mean all kinds of things but it's unmistakeable on seeing the monument ... it's a giant dick.
Quite apart from demonstrating architectural imagination on par with someone who hasn't quite mastered a Boy Scout pup tent, this thing doesn't even give birds a place to sit down and what good is a statue if pigeons can't sit on the hero's sword.
So that's the plan for winning the billion dollars: buy the Washington Monument and demolish it. Use the bricks to build a wall around Donald Trump's house so he can't get out again. Then we build a symbol of American ingenuity which actually (gasp) requires some ingenuity to create.
We envision the planning meeting in which they talked of their reverence for George Washington and how they wanted to remember him. Many things were considered until they finally decided a dick would be best. To fully show their reverence, they insisted it can't simply be a dick, it has to be a really big one, a really immaculate white one.
Feminists demand to know why America is represented by a dick and they want equal representation to include a giant white vagina. They did not specify whose vagina, however.
Frankly, we don't want either one because the last ten years have revealed more interchangeable body parts than the world really needed to know.
Russia doesn't fuck around when they build statues. They will build a gigantic statue of a winged warrior and, dunno about you, but that's going to impress me one hell of a lot more than some giant dick.
How about that Motherland statue in Russia:
Yah, that's what I'm talkin' about.
After the important business, there is one immediate requirement and that's to get a demolition crew to tear down that Washington Monument, that giant white concrete penis which is said to mean all kinds of things but it's unmistakeable on seeing the monument ... it's a giant dick.
Quite apart from demonstrating architectural imagination on par with someone who hasn't quite mastered a Boy Scout pup tent, this thing doesn't even give birds a place to sit down and what good is a statue if pigeons can't sit on the hero's sword.
So that's the plan for winning the billion dollars: buy the Washington Monument and demolish it. Use the bricks to build a wall around Donald Trump's house so he can't get out again. Then we build a symbol of American ingenuity which actually (gasp) requires some ingenuity to create.
We envision the planning meeting in which they talked of their reverence for George Washington and how they wanted to remember him. Many things were considered until they finally decided a dick would be best. To fully show their reverence, they insisted it can't simply be a dick, it has to be a really big one, a really immaculate white one.
Feminists demand to know why America is represented by a dick and they want equal representation to include a giant white vagina. They did not specify whose vagina, however.
Frankly, we don't want either one because the last ten years have revealed more interchangeable body parts than the world really needed to know.
Russia doesn't fuck around when they build statues. They will build a gigantic statue of a winged warrior and, dunno about you, but that's going to impress me one hell of a lot more than some giant dick.
How about that Motherland statue in Russia:
Yah, that's what I'm talkin' about.
1 comment:
They built one in Dubai, Qatar or some such. It's a sports stadium and they wrote it was deliberate but with journos who knows.
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