If you are not expecting strange when you come to visit here, your best bet is to revise your expectations. I do not have 'strange guilt' as I enjoy being strange but I don't enjoy the level of the strange of one of the most annoying constructs of the electronic world: the mommy blogger (i.e. I am Woman. I make Babies. And so on). In today's example, we have one who was playing Munchausen by proxy with her little boy so she could write about his manufactured illness on her blog. It worked too as many came ... but the boy didn't. He died. We don't do that level of strange here. That's more strange than we want anywhere.
(Ed: please don't forget some other electronic highlights of the blog world such as the always popular unemployed musician blogger, the wannabe philosopher blogger, and the absolute most stupid and irritating of all, the Texas global economics blogger.)
So Lotho sent me a clip to an article about people eating dogs in China. Perhaps he is screwing with me. He knows I am hungry here. He knows there is Tobey the Dog. Therefore: eat the dog. It's true that it has an algebraic elegance and he is a crazy ass dog but I still can't see eating him and it would definitely be a good idea to keep him out of China. (AP News: China dog-eaters dodge activists with early feast)
I wouldn't have a problem with eating a dog, just not that one. I've eaten a McDonald's Synth-o-Meat cheeseburger with the bland, grey hamburger patty that's so heavily-processed that you can't tell that half of it comes from recycled hotel mattresses. This is arguably the worst food product in the world and I have eaten it ... but I have never eaten dog, at least not to my knowledge. What do I know, tho. I have eaten tacos on the streets of Juarez so I could have had dog many times. The only thing that makes me think this might not be true is that generally they were chicken tacos.
(Ed: that means they were probably pigeon tacos)
Good point. (Question for another time: why don't poor people eat pigeons and solve two problems at the same time.)
There is one 'food product' that I don't think anyone will eat and that's when you sit down for a monkey brains feast as in "Indiana Jones and the Lost Temple of Doom." I could get hungry enough to eat a dog but I don't believe I could get hungry enough to eat that. However, there are many who fry up brains and eggs for breakfast in the morning. I will not be one of them. It is not known if there are different kinds of brains one can purchase at the market. Some of you may need to know if there is a qualitative difference in the taste of a pig brain such as those of the Koch brothers or a monkey brain such as those of most musicians, etc.
The big problem is the Law of Eating Ugly Animals which says specifically that no-one, no matter how cool or how rich or how pretty, is allowed to eat cute animals. You go immediately to Hell for killing crickets, eating lemurs, or, especially, for eating Spotted Owls. However, the LEUA does not preclude eating pit bulls as that is one ugly-ass dog. They look like someone put them in a microwave and their faces partially melted. So, OK, that's the compromise. I can't say I would like a meal of Shih Tzu but if you want to roast up a pit bull then, hey, what time is dinner.
So, uh, Lotho, does this answer your question (laughs).
(Ed: please don't forget some other electronic highlights of the blog world such as the always popular unemployed musician blogger, the wannabe philosopher blogger, and the absolute most stupid and irritating of all, the Texas global economics blogger.)
So Lotho sent me a clip to an article about people eating dogs in China. Perhaps he is screwing with me. He knows I am hungry here. He knows there is Tobey the Dog. Therefore: eat the dog. It's true that it has an algebraic elegance and he is a crazy ass dog but I still can't see eating him and it would definitely be a good idea to keep him out of China. (AP News: China dog-eaters dodge activists with early feast)
I wouldn't have a problem with eating a dog, just not that one. I've eaten a McDonald's Synth-o-Meat cheeseburger with the bland, grey hamburger patty that's so heavily-processed that you can't tell that half of it comes from recycled hotel mattresses. This is arguably the worst food product in the world and I have eaten it ... but I have never eaten dog, at least not to my knowledge. What do I know, tho. I have eaten tacos on the streets of Juarez so I could have had dog many times. The only thing that makes me think this might not be true is that generally they were chicken tacos.
(Ed: that means they were probably pigeon tacos)
Good point. (Question for another time: why don't poor people eat pigeons and solve two problems at the same time.)
There is one 'food product' that I don't think anyone will eat and that's when you sit down for a monkey brains feast as in "Indiana Jones and the Lost Temple of Doom." I could get hungry enough to eat a dog but I don't believe I could get hungry enough to eat that. However, there are many who fry up brains and eggs for breakfast in the morning. I will not be one of them. It is not known if there are different kinds of brains one can purchase at the market. Some of you may need to know if there is a qualitative difference in the taste of a pig brain such as those of the Koch brothers or a monkey brain such as those of most musicians, etc.
The big problem is the Law of Eating Ugly Animals which says specifically that no-one, no matter how cool or how rich or how pretty, is allowed to eat cute animals. You go immediately to Hell for killing crickets, eating lemurs, or, especially, for eating Spotted Owls. However, the LEUA does not preclude eating pit bulls as that is one ugly-ass dog. They look like someone put them in a microwave and their faces partially melted. So, OK, that's the compromise. I can't say I would like a meal of Shih Tzu but if you want to roast up a pit bull then, hey, what time is dinner.
So, uh, Lotho, does this answer your question (laughs).
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