This isn't a roller coaster but one extreme shock to another. I was ready and thinking this is going to suck but let's get it over. Poof. Never mind.
There is no fault. Decisions were correct. Evaluations would be faster given more resources but that's irrelevant now.
Whether to play, write, watch a movie or anything involving time is different as time is different.
The biggest fear behind this has been attack from the Internet. I have not looked at comments or email in some days. I probably still won't as now we have the possibility this was all some rigged-up piece of Internet crap. This is all way too far out there to get sand-bagged by trolling as who knows when beloved Patricia may visit.
Time, life, a whole lot of words change meaning in a few minutes.
Everyone looks confident, oh yah, I know what reality means ... well, do you now. When the hallucinations are more than dragons in the sky, they will move to the perception of things and events relative to one another. What is important and what is stable vary tremendously. The cute, perfect little couple ... suddenly gets divorced. The brand-new twenty-four million-dollar yacht ... burns up. The stock market drops and a trillion dollars disappears into mystery meat never to be seen again. Love and music are real, sure, but not much else.
When they were done with the pre-op stuff, there was nothing left but waiting for a shot that will get me dropped down for the procedure. I was thinking, well, this time it isn't like all the others and it's conceivable you don't wake up from this one. All that came to mind was so it goes.
That's not a bad thing as my mind wasn't wailing in regret.
I don't know what is happening now and there's never been a time when there was any use for the expression I don't know whether to laugh or cry. There's never been a situation for me that was so ridiculous.
It's going to take a bit for this to settle down.
There is no fault. Decisions were correct. Evaluations would be faster given more resources but that's irrelevant now.
Whether to play, write, watch a movie or anything involving time is different as time is different.
The biggest fear behind this has been attack from the Internet. I have not looked at comments or email in some days. I probably still won't as now we have the possibility this was all some rigged-up piece of Internet crap. This is all way too far out there to get sand-bagged by trolling as who knows when beloved Patricia may visit.
Time, life, a whole lot of words change meaning in a few minutes.
Everyone looks confident, oh yah, I know what reality means ... well, do you now. When the hallucinations are more than dragons in the sky, they will move to the perception of things and events relative to one another. What is important and what is stable vary tremendously. The cute, perfect little couple ... suddenly gets divorced. The brand-new twenty-four million-dollar yacht ... burns up. The stock market drops and a trillion dollars disappears into mystery meat never to be seen again. Love and music are real, sure, but not much else.
When they were done with the pre-op stuff, there was nothing left but waiting for a shot that will get me dropped down for the procedure. I was thinking, well, this time it isn't like all the others and it's conceivable you don't wake up from this one. All that came to mind was so it goes.
That's not a bad thing as my mind wasn't wailing in regret.
I don't know what is happening now and there's never been a time when there was any use for the expression I don't know whether to laugh or cry. There's never been a situation for me that was so ridiculous.
It's going to take a bit for this to settle down.
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