Although few have heard of the Fartzparfum species, there are many other species which produce some type of perfume but the Fartzparfum has the unique ability to produce it by bowel activity.
The Adoration of the Fartzparfum starts early and lasts all day but there is a benefit because the Adoration is what results in the Fartzparfum producing its perfume.
(Ed: that must be one hell of a burden on the Fartzparfum devotees)
Well, there are none, pal. See above about no-one ever heard of a Fartzparfum. The Adoration is self-administered and such is the agony of being a Fartzparfum.
A rumor came around within the large population of Dontgivafuqs that the Fartzparfum was giving away free tea and biscuits but nothing much happened because, well, they're Dontgivafuqs and who wants free tea and biscuits anyway. However, within the large population of Dontgiveafuqs was a sub-population of Dunnowotdafuqs and they started thinking, well, I think I really like biscuits and these ones are free.
Before anyone could save them, some of the Dunnowotdafugs went for the free biscuits and right away, the Fartzparfum called out, "Behold the Adoration of the Fartzparfum by the Dunnowotdafuqs."
Of course, on-one did because all the others are Dontgivafuqs.
And then the Fartzparfum cried out, "Hear my name. I am Dumasaboxorocksy, Destroyer of Pearls."
About that time the Sillymuthafuqa showed up and, of course, there are Sillymuthafuqas all over the place but this one is ours and we are so fucking happy about that. The Sillymuthafuqa doesn't do much except fly around the place and sometimes it lands in a tree to sing its song, "You are such a bunch of sillymuthafuqas and I'm not."
No-one has ever heard it sing any other song but ... all together now ... no-one cares because all the others are Dontgivafuqs.
Sometimes there is a genetic mutation caused by bombastic waves from Pluto and this can turn a Dontgivafug into a Fuqutu. The biggest hazard of becoming a Fuqutu is the next step of evolution after that is to become a Sillymuthafuqa but the Sillymuthafuqas are insecure and resist anyone joining their numbers.
(Ed: it must be dangerous to become a Fuqutu, I guess)
Extremely dangerous. It's not as dangerous as giving your cellphone number to Facebook but it's dangerous, very dangerous.
(Ed: why should the Fuqutu care about the Fartzparfum?)
The Fartzparfum said its perfume smells like blueberries but anyone who ever smelled blueberries know that's something else.
(Ed: why should the Fuqutu care about blueberries?)
That's the problem, see. The blueberries were found by the Fuqutu but now the Fartzparfum says it shoots them out of her backside. That's going to get a Fuqutu pissed off any time.
The problem for the Fuqutu is that makes the Fartzparfum smile because any kind of Adoration will do and it's all the better when it comes from an angry Fuqutu.
Meanwhile, the Sillymuthafuqa gets resentful because it was busy telling the Fartzparfum it's a sillymuthafuqa but then the Fuqutu started doing it too so now there's competition and the Sillymuthafuqa starts calling the Fuqutu a sillymuthafuqa as well.
That confuses all hell out of the Fuqutu and that's what causes the Fuqutu to really become a Sillymuthafuqa.
(Ed: what happened to the Dunnowotdafuqs after they ate the biscuits?)
No idea. I'm a Dontgivafuq.
The Adoration of the Fartzparfum starts early and lasts all day but there is a benefit because the Adoration is what results in the Fartzparfum producing its perfume.
(Ed: that must be one hell of a burden on the Fartzparfum devotees)
Well, there are none, pal. See above about no-one ever heard of a Fartzparfum. The Adoration is self-administered and such is the agony of being a Fartzparfum.
A rumor came around within the large population of Dontgivafuqs that the Fartzparfum was giving away free tea and biscuits but nothing much happened because, well, they're Dontgivafuqs and who wants free tea and biscuits anyway. However, within the large population of Dontgiveafuqs was a sub-population of Dunnowotdafuqs and they started thinking, well, I think I really like biscuits and these ones are free.
Before anyone could save them, some of the Dunnowotdafugs went for the free biscuits and right away, the Fartzparfum called out, "Behold the Adoration of the Fartzparfum by the Dunnowotdafuqs."
Of course, on-one did because all the others are Dontgivafuqs.
And then the Fartzparfum cried out, "Hear my name. I am Dumasaboxorocksy, Destroyer of Pearls."
About that time the Sillymuthafuqa showed up and, of course, there are Sillymuthafuqas all over the place but this one is ours and we are so fucking happy about that. The Sillymuthafuqa doesn't do much except fly around the place and sometimes it lands in a tree to sing its song, "You are such a bunch of sillymuthafuqas and I'm not."
No-one has ever heard it sing any other song but ... all together now ... no-one cares because all the others are Dontgivafuqs.
Sometimes there is a genetic mutation caused by bombastic waves from Pluto and this can turn a Dontgivafug into a Fuqutu. The biggest hazard of becoming a Fuqutu is the next step of evolution after that is to become a Sillymuthafuqa but the Sillymuthafuqas are insecure and resist anyone joining their numbers.
(Ed: it must be dangerous to become a Fuqutu, I guess)
Extremely dangerous. It's not as dangerous as giving your cellphone number to Facebook but it's dangerous, very dangerous.
(Ed: why should the Fuqutu care about the Fartzparfum?)
The Fartzparfum said its perfume smells like blueberries but anyone who ever smelled blueberries know that's something else.
(Ed: why should the Fuqutu care about blueberries?)
That's the problem, see. The blueberries were found by the Fuqutu but now the Fartzparfum says it shoots them out of her backside. That's going to get a Fuqutu pissed off any time.
The problem for the Fuqutu is that makes the Fartzparfum smile because any kind of Adoration will do and it's all the better when it comes from an angry Fuqutu.
Meanwhile, the Sillymuthafuqa gets resentful because it was busy telling the Fartzparfum it's a sillymuthafuqa but then the Fuqutu started doing it too so now there's competition and the Sillymuthafuqa starts calling the Fuqutu a sillymuthafuqa as well.
That confuses all hell out of the Fuqutu and that's what causes the Fuqutu to really become a Sillymuthafuqa.
(Ed: what happened to the Dunnowotdafuqs after they ate the biscuits?)
No idea. I'm a Dontgivafuq.
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