CNN abandoned news as an art form years ago but the banal preaching takes their act to a new nadir. In the latest, some precious li'l snowflake says she found God after her boyfriend smashed his pickup truck into an abutment on the road. (CNN: Couple's post-crash Facebook photo warms the hearts of thousands)
Reviewing the scene a wee bit, we see the boyfriend was driving at eighty-five mph, well above the speed limit, and he lost control of the vehicle. Not only was he speeding but he wasn't even capable of handling the vehicle.
The girl says she saw God after the crash ... yah, that's the suburban logic which says God caused the crash but also saved them from it. This is why we're happy such people usually stay out there in suburbia where we don't have to deal with them.
The girl didn't didn't realize what God was saying:
Girl, get the fuck away from that idiot boyfriend before he gets you killed.
One thing's for sure: if they decide to honeymoon in Vegas, they will leave that town with nothing to cover them but plastic bags. We don't think God has much (cough) truck with gamblers.
Reviewing the scene a wee bit, we see the boyfriend was driving at eighty-five mph, well above the speed limit, and he lost control of the vehicle. Not only was he speeding but he wasn't even capable of handling the vehicle.
The girl says she saw God after the crash ... yah, that's the suburban logic which says God caused the crash but also saved them from it. This is why we're happy such people usually stay out there in suburbia where we don't have to deal with them.
The girl didn't didn't realize what God was saying:
Girl, get the fuck away from that idiot boyfriend before he gets you killed.
One thing's for sure: if they decide to honeymoon in Vegas, they will leave that town with nothing to cover them but plastic bags. We don't think God has much (cough) truck with gamblers.
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