"Charlie Daniels Gonads" (poem)

The Devil went down to Georgia,
he had his gonads on the run
but he wanted to get them back again
because damn they sure were fun.

But there's nothing down in Georgia,
we have only let it stay
We just needed something big enough
to keep Florida far away.

So Charlie didn't find his gonads
he played his fiddle instead
but he started thinking he's a hero
and he built that in his head.

He said, son, I want you to fight for me,
I want you to show me what you've got.
Show me you're a warrior,
Show me that you're hot.

They kid said, fuck you, Fatman,
What did you ever do for me.
There's no uniform in your closet
when did you fight to be free?

He said, son, what's your problem,
if you fight I'll play a song.
All the soldiers can get dancing
and I'll play right along.

Yeah, you and Ronald Reagan,
you sat there with the girls,
and when the war was over,
you said you saved the world.

So play your song if you want to,
I'm sure The Noog will dance
but just like that old Fatman
there's nothing in his pants.