Elves of Cthulhu Meet Steven Wright

The meeting has not happened yet and may not for some while because Yevette has crashed after hours and hours of medicomania in Dallas.  There was no emergency as sometimes I just do it for the fun of it because I like the smell of ether.

He will also need to comment on a church sign which said GOD IS ON THE MOVE.

After such a statement, inevitably there will be questions.  The questions would never come from a Texas Christian but they don't care because there are two guaranteed jobs any loser can get in Texas.  The first is to become a preacher and if you can't even handle that then you can get a job on the Texas school board burning books.

Note 1:  Texas had an excellent reputation for quality textbooks for high school but now the state is just one more evangelical embarrassment and one more reason America should be in quarantine until that disease is brought under control.

Note 2:  the book burning had to have started under George Bush because there's no way Ann Richards would have tolerated that disgrace in the guise of education.


Mike Huckabee, the self-proclaimed evangelical preacher, may have spent millions on his Presidential campaign.



Did you hear of Huckabee buying any water bottles for a buck and a half?

Me either.

Huckabee can preach all day long about gay marriage but all this kid wants is a drink of water.

And that's the difference between religion and spirituality.

The Elves of Cthulhu Do Steven Wright

This time it wasn't released but the Elves of Cthulhu last night made a recording which ran for a bit over thirty-five minutes and all of it was generally deadpan.

Note:  the content in the other Elves videos is true but the rage is more apparent than real.


There may be another of these and it's a novel exercise in narcissism, existentialism, and the darkness where you put the things which scare you.  This one is actually much darker than the others which have an anarchic darkness but this is more the psychic variety, the stuff which scares you the most and it's because you hid it there because you don't want to see it anymore.


The general point of these is it makes no difference whether I spend ten minutes to make a video or ten months as with "The End of the World in Fort Worth."  It's just more flotsam on an Internet in which information has become nothing more than data version of the artificial island of floating plastic in the Pacific.  In combination it might mean something but there it's just junk.

Some study the metadata to learn information about the data ... but they only make more data and keep it in the same place thus making the island bigger ... but it still won't grow trees.


There are waves of Jimmy Carter blowing through here and the feeling is giving away music doesn't mean anything when no-one particularly wants it and, on the Internet, no-one is looking for more than amusement anyway.

(Ed:  there's got to be something better than this?)

Yep.  You know how it goes or you wouldn't be here in the first place.

One line of thinking is get some books and then I will need the Internet as much as it needs me.  Books will deliver much better what I want and I crave them.  For much of my life there has been inspiration from a single line from Benjamin Disraeli:  when I feel like reading a book, I write one.

I've written a tremendous number of them and I would like to actually read some because it's been a long time and I miss that a great deal.  The strangest irony of the Internet is there's so much to read ... but there's still really nothing much worth reading.  More and more the Internet becomes a simple thing:  if it ain't payin', I ain't stayin'.


The video may happen tonight as the raging Elves get tiresome quickly but this deadpan approach may be novel.  There will be various reasons for existential review later tonight anyway.  Possible coolness in it so we shall see.

Sparking the Darkies at the Super Bowl

Since Super Bowl 50 one thing has been noticeably absent from any news about the game and ... that would be any news about the game.  We didn't watch it because we don't like football enough to put up with Coldplay to watch it.

There doesn't appear to have been anything interesting about the game and it was won in the first half and that's not surprising since no-one wanted to stay there for the second half because that would mean enduring Coldplay.


However, Beyonce gave a surprisingly kick ass show and I'm not a fan of her music but she does it well and she made an enormously impressive spectacle out of her performance.

So slash the bitch, right?

Of course, they did.  She's an uppity Negro and she made references to #BlackLivesMatter or at least that's the story from one of the Fox Inquisitors, Rudolph Giuliani, who said her performance was tasteless and inappropriate, etc.  Of course he saw it that way:  Beyonce is black.

(Ed:  she's not that dark)

How black is black, bitch!


For Fox News Inquisitors it doesn't matter.  They hate anyone who ever even got a suntan except for Donald Trump but they let him slide because he gets that orange skin color out of a bottle.

(Ed:  orange is the new black?)

Well, it sure is with Donald Trump, as you can easily see.


We took a look at Beyonce's performance and we recommend shooting the soundman because it was difficult to understand her words.  As to any outpouring of racial displays, we didn't see them.  I saw some of the dancers holding a sign about #BlackLivesMatter but that was after the performance and I'm really not sure why Beyonce was getting flogged, apart from being black, I mean.

As to Giuliani saying it was tasteless, perhaps that simple-minded demagogue could consider the fact football is a game in which men beat the shit out of each other to push a ball around.  There is never anything tasteful about football.  It's just a fucking game.


Later, they were busting Cam Newton because he wasn't sporting about his loss and, I swear to Christ this is true, they were posting examples of how good white people accept defeat in sporting events.

America has a reputation for having the poorest sports in the world.  Ask anyone.  You can see an example of that in Hillary Clinton.  She's busted cold for being as much of a financial slut as the GOP candidates and she screams of artistic smears.  Then she drags in some other harridans to whine about how she has been victimized to the tune of millions of dollars ... all of which she will keep.  Thank you very much.  That's how good white people do it, right.


Beyonce is a strong woman who steals nothing so, naturally, the Inquisitors slash her.  Hillary Clinton is an unrepentant criminal ... but she's white so let's put her in the White House.  The people who do this will swear on a stack of AK-47 assault rifles they are not racist.

Of course, you're not, snookums.  You're not really a racist.  It's perfectly fine to say black people can play in the Super Bowl but don't you speak and definitely don't you sing unless we approve the content ahead of time.

It's ok as the people who criticize her are just the 'possums you have to chase out of your garbage cans after a great meal because, wtf, that's where 'possums eat.

The Elves of Cthulhu Let the Dogs Out (video)

We were pissed when Hillary Rodham Clinton talked of an artful smear but she has now escalated by bringing Bill Clinton into it to attack Bernie Sanders as well.  This is the response and it's brutal but it's also dead accurate.

NSFW

Bill Clinton Should Stick to Cigars

Bill Clinton's priorities have been cigars and Monica Lewinsky but the country needs someone in the White House who takes the office a lot more seriously than he ever did.  That Hillary Clinton uses him to bolster her weak position only shows the shallowness of it.


The Primary Bill Clinton Fails

NAFTA - Yesterday Ford announced it will build yet another car manufacturing plant in Mexico.  We don't know if Bill Clinton gets residuals from the big corporations for how many American jobs he murdered and how little consideration he gave to American unions before he stabbed them in the back from the White House.

Glass Steagall - this was the last part of the protection against banks growing out of control.  Bill Clinton removed the last piece by signing legislation which disabled Glass Steagall, thus completing the sequence of deregulation of big banks started by Ronald Reagan and which exploded all over Wall Street ten years later in 2008 after the ridiculous excesses of the George Bush administration.

Attack on bin Laden - Bill Clinton ordered the first attack on al Qaeda during his administration.  As history showed, he completely fucked that up too.  Hillary Clinton has said she will continue following this policy of regime change and of course she would after it worked so damn well for Bill Clinton and the world.


Hillary Clinton is on the run now.  She has fallen back to being the victim of sexism and those nothing left but whining on The View after that and getting pissed off because no-one watches anything from it except idiot sound bites.


The Best Hope

Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren may well be the only honest politicians in Washington and I've watched for a long, long time.  Likely Jimmy Carter was the last and the GOP loves to slash him but that's probably because he was the only one who didn't start a war and make any money for them.

That's accurate, by the way.  Jimmy Carter is the only American President in fifty years who did not start a war.


You see how Jimmy Carter conducted himself after the Presidency.  He has been giving his goodness of which there is plenty to anyone he could help and he even did it with cancer in his body.  Amazingly for all of us, it seems to be in remission now.

Now take a look at Bill Clinton and how he didn't give anything away unless he got an exorbitant speaking fee for doing it and he cadged ninety million dollars like that ... he says.  Now tell me whether you want an honest man or another conniving opportunist like that in the White House.

Storyboard for "Andromeda Weeps"

There was no further word on finding a cast for "Andromeda Weeps" so I figured it had gone to sleep.  My thinking for that is to put it on a shelf until it's possible to shoot the video that way because doing it in virtual to make machinima would not be satisfying.

It turns out there's some interest but it wasn't clear what's needed so the first thing is putting together a storyboard so the Knoxville Unit knows what things need to happen.  Then they can take a look and say what they believe is possible.  From there we recruit and shoot.

The thinking was Jerusalem had to burn for the content of the song to properly balance.  When it was decided that was not necessary, it lifts greatly from the heavy tone and the it focuses much more on the love story in it.  Ludicrous doesn't even half cover a love story in a missile silo so it begs to be as campy camp as it can get.

If possible I want to drag my nieces into this because they have a keen sense of high style and they're highly imaginative with make-up.  As to what parts they should play ... well ... I believe I shall make some.


Something I also told The Raven was to be ready for extremely short scenes and this isn't like shooting a movie.  There are two parts in the primary Phrase 1 for the song.  The intro part is eight bars and, at one twenty beats per minute, that's sixteen seconds.  The verse part is eight bars played twice for sixteen bars total.  Then back to the intro / chorus part.

In roughly forty-two seconds, there must a verse / chorus up front which shows the lovey lovey vibe between Jason and Alexander and this is that soft focus, so mad in love and lost in heaven, kind of stuff.  Make sure the viewer knows this fully in forty-two seconds and likely you would have three sixteen-second scenes in which to do it before moving forward into the next verse / chorus.

Then there's a sixteen-second scene to show there has been a launch detected and we must retaliate by launching our missiles.  That's followed by thirty-two seconds of don't go ... oh, but I must as Andromeda implores Jason not to go.

This thinking needs to be worked back into the schematic which I can then feed to Alexander so he can see what will happen.  Within those scenes is an open deal.  I need Jason and Andromeda to look the parts of being Young Beautiful People.  How that is portrayed is wide open and I'm not going to dictate it.

If I direct this right then you won't need me to know if a scene fits a part or it doesn't because you will already know.  To a large extent, The Raven will be designing within the larger framework and what he does could really be fascinating.  When he hits one right, he will know it because it unfolds to his own specs which he will already know match the overall direction.

Even Big Enough for Ted Cruz

It was this big!  I thought no way it can possibly fit but it did!

Congrats to North Korea on a Successful Launch

North Korea launched a long-range missile a couple of days ago and the war hawks went ape over it. We have noticed the war hawks go ape over just about anything.  In fact, they're so easy to scare, you could send a robot mouse to the GOP convention and clear the place out in five minutes flat.  If you do it, use a robo cam because it would be hilarious to watch.

It's a fuckin' mouse!  Run for yer chicken lives!


The actual consequence of the launch was two objects in orbit, one presumed to be the satellite and the other is the final stage booster.  That seems sloppy space work that the booster did not drop back out of orbit but that's the report at present.

Note:  there's more junk in orbit than in the attic of your Aunt Harriet's house.  Putting more up there without an exceptional reason is seriously bad form.


The war hawks are fretting and telling us this is a test for delivering nuclear weapons.  We have one tiny detail on that for the war hawks, tho:  the strategic missiles do not go orbital.  If this was testing a military delivery system, they chose a singularly stupid way to do it.

(Ed:  with the right electronics, a satellite could bomb anywhere in the world)

Take another look at it, Dagwood.  North Korea only needs to drop a nuke on Japan and the world goes up in smoke.  It doesn't take multiple orbits of the Earth to do that.


So y'all can go on frettin' it with the sweaties but we will get to building that robo mouse.

(Ed:  with a cam?)

Definitely with a cam.  We will live stream it.  You won't be able to buy comedy like this when the generals squeal like girls ... a mouse, a mouse!  They didn't have these at West Point!

Fuckin' general war hawks ... they're good at bangin' secretaries but not much else.

Chordslinger Carstanz Rides Again

Chordslinger Carstanz is a long, long-time friend and he took a hard whack a few years back.  He has now recovered from it and is feeling stronger than ever.  These are his words and the vibrancy in them comes through powerfully.

Cadillac Man, you two may well have common ground as his time really is his own now.  You have got past the early freefall from retirement and getting to the point of wow, this is pretty fuckin' cool.  No-one can tell me to do anything unless I feel like doing it ... and even then maybe I won't (larfs).


The biggest joy busting out of him (and it really is busting in a big way) is he's collaborating with musicians around the world.  He is looking for a male singer but you've got to be good as he has auditioned about fifty of them he said.  The rest of the band is all high-calibre musicians and they're in multiple different countries.  The music, however, is highly-focused and it was cool to hear he works with Lola again because they always had a special simpatico and made a great deal of music together.

You can find Chordslinger Carstanz on thesixtyone and I look for people on Facebook sometimes but it hardly ever works.  I know for sure you can reach him on thesixtyone.


There was no mention of playing again in Second Life and I didn't get the impression any of the musicians play there either.  I may be wrong but there was no impression of it.


Which is all to tell you there will be new music from him and the group soon.  Getting whacked robbed him of a debut in The City but he's definitely rolling again and it's obvious from what he writes that he definitely has his strength back.


Kick it, Chordslinger!

Selling Out Feminism One Cupcake at a Time - Gloria Steinem Edition

We have deeply respected Gloria Steinem for many years and she earned that respect through forthright commitment to feminism and well-reasoned statements about it.  We don't mean to set her up to slash her and it's not necessary because she did it to herself.  She's an exceptionally bright woman but her comments about Sanders didn't make much sense:  Gloria Steinem On Millennial Women For Sanders: That’s Where The Boys Are.

There's not much to say about it since she hasn't given us more than a semi-lucid ramble.  The boys?  Who the fuck are the boys?  Are these immature humans who do not think very much.  I'm fairly good with insults but I don't think I can manage that level of insult density in a statement which simply and I do mean simply insults everyone.


We have a runner-up in this edition from Madeline Albright who said, Albright: 'special place in hell' for women who don't support Clinton.

Tell you what, darlin', there's a special place in jail for people who support criminals.  We'll keep a light on for you.

And what's this about 'a special place in Hell' as we have seen New Jersey and everywhere in it looked about the same.


I'll thank you not to speak for my feminism since my standards are much higher.  It's been pleasing to see Millennials do not much accept blind feminism and are examining the material for themselves.  They see Hillary Clinton taking scads of money from Goldman Sachs and then they see highly-regarded women speaking favorably for her.  We don't know what that did for Clinton but we suspect not very much whereas they did tremendous damage to their own credibility.

The honesty of Bernie Sanders is unimpeachable and many have tried.  Conversely, Hillary Clinton wouldn't know honesty if it bit her copious backside.  The campaign has nothing to do with boobs and is strictly about bullshit and the Clintons are carrying a truckload of it.


When feminism comes to this election, Elizabeth Warren will bring it and we can't wait to see it happen because we are so damn sick of Hillary Clinton for posing things she doesn't believe unless she gets money for it and she is paid more than many of us will ever see and without delivering one damn thing of any significance.  She delivered many military aircraft to multiple countries in the Middle East, however.

Laser Lust in Four Beams and Four Colors

The Rockhouse needs more fookin' lasers.  I'm sure you can see the wisdom of a four-beam / four-color laser unit which fires yellow, purple, red, green.  It's a bad case of laser lust, it is.  Some think this is trivial but they don't have to look at the same asshole playing a guitar each time I make a video.  I'm not trying to hide but rather those kinds of videos bore the hell out of me.

Green screen is going to happen soon.  Maybe you only think Silas will play guitar on the Moon and he probably will but there is also the place for the Elves of Cthulhu who can go the Lincoln Memorial and give the I Have a Fuckin' Dream speech.

This will not mock Martin Luther King because you go to all twelve levels of Hell for doing that.  This is respect from the Elves of Cthulhu.  We can't run up and kiss him, we're fuckin' demons.

So I have a fuckin' dream ... that one day people won't be miserable selfish bastards anymore or act like pricks to each other ... one day we will say together ... pop music fucking sucks and we will abandon that crap forever ... we will go to the fuckin' mountain top, free of miserable selfish bastards and also pop music, and there we can be fuckin' free, fuckin' free at fuckin' last.

(Ed:  is it necessary to be coarse?)

When that which appears to be so genteel does such vile things (i.e. sending kids to war in such a mannerly way), we are not impressed by gentility.  It don't mean doodley squat.

The Elves of Cthulhu on Coldplay at the Super Bowl (video) - NSFW

Your favorite foul-mouthed demons are on the prowl again but they won't be prowling the Super Bowl ... because Coldplay is in the half-time show.   The demons have some thoughts on that matter in this video.



As to the purpose of the flashing lights, it helps to prevent demons from bumping into each other on foggy nights.