Don't fret it when someone honks at you from behind. The person is begging for sex or, failing that, a wee bit of attention.
Fall back a bit to review the situation. Someone behind you is in a hurry ... to get to work ... to sit in a cubicle like a robot for eight hours ... and then do the same thing in reverse.
(Ed: define 'loser')
Rather than getting angry and wasting your own chill on this loser, consider pity as not only is that one not getting laid today, he may never get laid.
Go-fasters don't fuck around with car horns ... because go-fasters get lots of sex. Go-fasters know speed ain't happenin' until you get into triple digits on the open road. Now that is some wind in the face.
Any testosterone-challenged asshole can honk a car horn but you have to be gushing with the stuff to take a vehicle into triple digits when you don't have a hint of a logical reason for doing it.
Note: one major aside for go-fasters -
REAL GO-FASTERS FUCKING NEVER INVOLVE CIVILIANS
There is only one chance with go-fasters. If you do fuck up and take out a civilian, even if it's just a scratch, you are fired from the Go-Fasters forever. You are not only fired after that, you're ex-communicated. What I mean to say is your ass is history.
Mistakes are not acceptable when civilians get dead from them. And you will make mistakes. That's part of why you go fast. As you learn about go-faster stuff, you learn what you can handle and what you should probably leave alone. The only way to learn that for real is on a track.
(Ed: with a helmet?)
Yes with a fookin' helmet. Do it right and make it a full-cover helmet ... unless you want to eat dinner with a straw for the rest of your life.
... end of preacherly aside.
So the femmes smirk knowingly about horn-honking punks ... but ... many times when I look to see who is driving like an incompetent fuck behind me, I discover more often they're incompetent young femme drivers rather than incompetent young cowboy drivers.
We know you're not getting any sex, honey. Advertising that fact will not help.
Today's bumper sticker:
HONKING YOUR CAR HORN MEANS YOU NEVER GET LAID
Now you can provoke people a little bit. Wait too long before driving off and the cool ones will give you a polite li'l toot as a reminder ... but ... then there are the ones who have been waiting all day for the moment to stand on that horn hard.
As you start driving away from the light, your bumper sticker will be revealed to the honker.
Congrats. You got the last laugh and you didn't have to do a thing. What's more, with any luck, you're not the only one laughing.
Fall back a bit to review the situation. Someone behind you is in a hurry ... to get to work ... to sit in a cubicle like a robot for eight hours ... and then do the same thing in reverse.
(Ed: define 'loser')
Rather than getting angry and wasting your own chill on this loser, consider pity as not only is that one not getting laid today, he may never get laid.
Go-fasters don't fuck around with car horns ... because go-fasters get lots of sex. Go-fasters know speed ain't happenin' until you get into triple digits on the open road. Now that is some wind in the face.
Any testosterone-challenged asshole can honk a car horn but you have to be gushing with the stuff to take a vehicle into triple digits when you don't have a hint of a logical reason for doing it.
Note: one major aside for go-fasters -
REAL GO-FASTERS FUCKING NEVER INVOLVE CIVILIANS
There is only one chance with go-fasters. If you do fuck up and take out a civilian, even if it's just a scratch, you are fired from the Go-Fasters forever. You are not only fired after that, you're ex-communicated. What I mean to say is your ass is history.
Mistakes are not acceptable when civilians get dead from them. And you will make mistakes. That's part of why you go fast. As you learn about go-faster stuff, you learn what you can handle and what you should probably leave alone. The only way to learn that for real is on a track.
(Ed: with a helmet?)
Yes with a fookin' helmet. Do it right and make it a full-cover helmet ... unless you want to eat dinner with a straw for the rest of your life.
... end of preacherly aside.
So the femmes smirk knowingly about horn-honking punks ... but ... many times when I look to see who is driving like an incompetent fuck behind me, I discover more often they're incompetent young femme drivers rather than incompetent young cowboy drivers.
We know you're not getting any sex, honey. Advertising that fact will not help.
Today's bumper sticker:
HONKING YOUR CAR HORN MEANS YOU NEVER GET LAID
Now you can provoke people a little bit. Wait too long before driving off and the cool ones will give you a polite li'l toot as a reminder ... but ... then there are the ones who have been waiting all day for the moment to stand on that horn hard.
As you start driving away from the light, your bumper sticker will be revealed to the honker.
Congrats. You got the last laugh and you didn't have to do a thing. What's more, with any luck, you're not the only one laughing.
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