Man, do I make over this dog. It really bugs me how he cowers and I've been trying to draw the real Tobey the Dog out of him. This has been going on for quite a while as I would blow into Fort Worth and after a while blow out again but this time I've been more focused on loving up this little guy.
I'll be petting him and saying goofy stuff to him like, "Who's the best dog in the world, huh. It's got to be you, right, buddy. You're a good dog because you never kill the chickens."
(There are no chickens here. It's not because he killed them all already.)
I'm sure you do that stuff too even though you look like all serious dog trainers and rescuers and all really good things but I bet you still do this goofy stuff too.
So that got me wondering if Hitler did it. I think he had four German Shepherds so do you suppose that Nazi fuck would roll around on the grass with them, wrestling with them, and telling them, "You're the best little Nazi dog in the world."
I'm not trying to be facetious. People are complex. If he did do stuff like that, it makes him even more horrifying.
What Hitler did give us is that German is one scary fuckin' language. If you watch the videos much then you've seen this guy was terrifying. Cat and I were talking about it and I told her I thought Russian is also good for scaring the living hell out of people. She offered Japanese as well and you definitely know it when you have a pissed-off Japanese guy but I still think Hitler did the best with German.
But German isn't terrifying at all and I'm most pleased with a word I made up for Cat as it's not German, it just sounds like it: Schmuseling - (shmoozelling) - It means something like little cuddle puppy. I even used the word in a song and I would be so tickled if the word actually caught hold and people started using it.
Ach meine Schmuseling (oh, little cuddle puppy)
Immer ich liebe dich (ever I love you)
Das Hausboot ist kommen (the houseboat is coming)
Zum Fluss gehen wir (to the river we go)
In English if someone wants to be scary, the volume and presentation go up and you know you've got an angry guy on your hands but the language itself doesn't lend itself so well toward being angry. German has a great many sounds which are not harsh in normal usage but can be made that way when you want to scare the crap out of someone. On the other hand, someone could give you some rage in French but all you're likely to think is that he will slap you with a glove. However ... with German, you know this guy is going to chop you up, mix you with limburger cheese, and feed you to the hired help.
Cat's favorite dog wasn't a German Shepherd which she really doesn't like very much but rather it was an Akita. Cat is exceptionally good at working with animals and an Akita may not work out for you but I do know she loved that dog. I'm not sure if this was the dog she lost on a trolley car, tho.
(Ed: how the hell do you lose a dog on a trolley car?)
Easy. She got off and he didn't. That part wasn't the problem. No, the problem was telling the German police she had lost her dog on a trolley car and could they help her find it. The cops are diggin' it because they get a whacked-out story to chase but they aren't going to let her off easy as who could resist playing with a story like that. Well, ma'am, we last spotted your dog in a taxi and we think he may be headed for the airport. (Yes, they did find the dog ... but I don't know if it was at the airport.)
I know Cat rolls around on the grass and does goofy stuff with her dogs. I don't even have to ask.
I'll be petting him and saying goofy stuff to him like, "Who's the best dog in the world, huh. It's got to be you, right, buddy. You're a good dog because you never kill the chickens."
(There are no chickens here. It's not because he killed them all already.)
I'm sure you do that stuff too even though you look like all serious dog trainers and rescuers and all really good things but I bet you still do this goofy stuff too.
So that got me wondering if Hitler did it. I think he had four German Shepherds so do you suppose that Nazi fuck would roll around on the grass with them, wrestling with them, and telling them, "You're the best little Nazi dog in the world."
I'm not trying to be facetious. People are complex. If he did do stuff like that, it makes him even more horrifying.
What Hitler did give us is that German is one scary fuckin' language. If you watch the videos much then you've seen this guy was terrifying. Cat and I were talking about it and I told her I thought Russian is also good for scaring the living hell out of people. She offered Japanese as well and you definitely know it when you have a pissed-off Japanese guy but I still think Hitler did the best with German.
But German isn't terrifying at all and I'm most pleased with a word I made up for Cat as it's not German, it just sounds like it: Schmuseling - (shmoozelling) - It means something like little cuddle puppy. I even used the word in a song and I would be so tickled if the word actually caught hold and people started using it.
Ach meine Schmuseling (oh, little cuddle puppy)
Immer ich liebe dich (ever I love you)
Das Hausboot ist kommen (the houseboat is coming)
Zum Fluss gehen wir (to the river we go)
In English if someone wants to be scary, the volume and presentation go up and you know you've got an angry guy on your hands but the language itself doesn't lend itself so well toward being angry. German has a great many sounds which are not harsh in normal usage but can be made that way when you want to scare the crap out of someone. On the other hand, someone could give you some rage in French but all you're likely to think is that he will slap you with a glove. However ... with German, you know this guy is going to chop you up, mix you with limburger cheese, and feed you to the hired help.
Cat's favorite dog wasn't a German Shepherd which she really doesn't like very much but rather it was an Akita. Cat is exceptionally good at working with animals and an Akita may not work out for you but I do know she loved that dog. I'm not sure if this was the dog she lost on a trolley car, tho.
(Ed: how the hell do you lose a dog on a trolley car?)
Easy. She got off and he didn't. That part wasn't the problem. No, the problem was telling the German police she had lost her dog on a trolley car and could they help her find it. The cops are diggin' it because they get a whacked-out story to chase but they aren't going to let her off easy as who could resist playing with a story like that. Well, ma'am, we last spotted your dog in a taxi and we think he may be headed for the airport. (Yes, they did find the dog ... but I don't know if it was at the airport.)
I know Cat rolls around on the grass and does goofy stuff with her dogs. I don't even have to ask.
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