Reverend Silas T Sasquatch with Important PSA on Ebola and Cocker Spaniels

Be aware of the signs.  Be aware of the symptoms.  Be ever vigilant.

Woof

God Did Not Hate the Gig - He Hates iPads

There was an updated memo from the Lord in which he said I still suck but that isn't why he sent the storm.  The problem was that I was using an iPad for my back tracks and he hates iPads.

I asked him why he hates iPads as it's just one more piece of useless commercial gimcrackery in a world that has forgotten how to make anything anyone really needs.

God told me he hates iPads because the pious put Bibles on them.  I asked him didn't he love the pious, aren't they the very best Christians.  He said not when they show their piety by spending a thousand dollars on a gadget when they could have stolen a Bible from a motel and given the money to sick children.

I told him I see your point.  He said he has another point as the back tracks suck.

I said, hey, man.  I don't think they suck.

Then he backed off a little and said, well, I'll give you that much.  The back tracks don't suck but you suck for using them.

I can't fault him on that as it's fookin' karaoke.  I fookin' hate karaoke.  Even if I do it with a guitar, it's still fookin' karaoke.


Someone said difficulties at the moment are an 'attention getting device' but, perhaps I might advise, a rock gig IS an attention getting device so anything else is consequently, well, something else. 

Silas Gig So Bad God Sent Electrical Storm to Stop It

"Necromancer" didn't work as I had no beat or timing.  "Empire" failed altogether the first time as the volume levels were impossible.  I started it again and still my timing is all over the place and it's like I'm racing the track.  I couldn't hear the guitar so well and that's part of it but it was still ferociously suckworthy.  I tried some softer ones likes "Wind on the Waves" and "On a Grecian Morning" and those worked fairly ok.

But I could see the lightning and hear some seriously booming thunder so I excused myself to take a look.  Just a short peek was enough to know to unplug the kit as one power surge will wreck your whole musical life.

So I stopped the gig and shut down.

By the time I had everything all shut down, the lightning stopped and so did the thunder.

You tell me that wasn't God saying You Suck.


I'm really not flogging myself as whether I'm good or bad really doesn't matter that much anymore. The only thing that counts is whether I can still do it and this wasn't a promising sign.

No need to evaluate anything just now as I'm tired and the rack is the best discussion of all just now.  I'm not depressed.  It's more like well, damn ...

Sex Change Operation for Reverend Silas T Sasquatch

Since the good Reverend has come out, he has further decided he needs a sex-change operation.

The purpose of the sermon is not to bash transgenders but rather preachers collecting money for bullshit things (e.g. million-dollar churches to themselves, etc).

That extends to bullshit charities in general as a disgraceful many take in an enormous amount of money but most of it goes to those who collect it and there is relatively little sent to the cause the charity claims to represent.

This one can't have a script as I didn't like that in the last one.  Using a script changes the content and changes the delivery so that makes a plastic TV reverend who was fake to start.  That doesn't work.

I need to get real names of charities and likely you have seen lists of the Ten Worst or similar.  Reading numbers has no possible chance of being funny but it would be good to use real names as what's so scummy as some outfit that pretends to help and really doesn't.

It needs a twist to step out, tho.

Charity drones that fly to your house to bug the hell out of you

Salvation Army drones ringing bells.  No need to bust them, tho.  They're one of the few good guys.

Must think about that some more and then try it.


It's a solid two or three hour process to get a five-minute Sasquatch video on YouTube and that's if I don't use many effects in Final Cut.  This is a very slow machine.  If I get clever, it will punish.  So I think about it for a while before doing it.  The result may still be crap but it is considered crap.

Ebola is Not Concerning Me at Present

Dallas is only about thirty minutes from here so Ebola in the wild is not making me feel cuddly like a bunny rabbit.  But you have to do such disgusting stuff to catch it, all or most of which involve contact with bodily fluids.  It seems the operating process is don't kiss anyone if blood leaks from unusual parts of the body (i.e. yours or theirs).

Ebola does not spread through the air but there are already cranks out there screaming, it might, it might.  What if it mutates.

The fact is that it does not spread through the air.

It's a tough disease to catch if you are not living in filthy conditions (e.g. poor sewage systems, poor funeral customs, etc, etc).

My concern about the disease isn't that it will rise up and kill us all but rather that any people, anywhere on the planet, in the face of such overwhelming riches, have to live in such squalor that it contains an immediate risk of killing them.

States Rights Medicine in Texas Doing What It Can for Ebola

A hospital official said the organization had 'dropped the ball' when it released a patient with Ebola into the general public in Dallas, one of the biggest cities in the country.  (CNN:  Hospital 'dropped the ball' with Ebola patient's travel history, NIH official says)

'Dropping the ball' is a term from baseball and it means a man will get on base and your team will be charged with an error.  Perhaps it's my distorted left wing thinking that differentiates this from releasing an uncontrolled deadly virus into a large population of vulnerable people.

Texas is on the forefront of a fake fight against the Fed regarding the Affordable Care Act.  It costs the people of the State of Texas a lot of money as they have to pay for that which they would have got for free.

Previously that type of mindless Rick Perry conservatism just gave you bad economics.  Now it gives you Ebola.  Have a nice day ... y'all.


Here's the beauty part:  the same patient presented three days later and was then admitted ... to the same hospital that screwed things up in the first place.


There was The Peter Principle about rising to your level of incompetence in an organization and now there is The Perry Principle about rising to your level of incompetence in a country.  Of course he will run for President as The Perry Principle mandates anyone that deficient in any useful skills would not be able to do anything else.

"The Paradise Song" - Thinking About It

There are two very strong drives, one to make something exceptionally damn good and the other to destroy myself.  They have always been at war in my head but now it's a full theatre tank battle and things explode all over the place.  This is not self-pity but rather mystification as the answer to why is still I don't know.

Drill Sergeant:  Private, you better seriously work on getting yourself unfucked.

Well, that's the trick, isn't it.  The answer to "The Paradise Song" may well be contingent on an answer to the other as this is life-long combat.

Probably it's more likely because I didn't go for the PhD and become the Great White Scientist like my ol' Dad.  He was a bona fide Big Deal around the world with global lectures tours and TV ...  and look at you ... what a worthless piece of shit.

All I wanted to do was play a guitar and get stoned.  So, yah, I'm a worthless piece of shit.


"The Tiger and the Monkey" is from six or eight months back and it's obviously for Cat.  It's part of thinking about "The Paradise Song" as to what the hell are you trying to do.  The vocal is the pitiful lot you would expect but the Lyrics are pretty.

The Mystery Lady was suggesting "Waiting for a Train" from Cincinnati and that is on YouTube but that one really is cast for its Fate in life.  I couldn't see lifting that up and saying, well, now it's "The Paradise Song" or, well, I could but I wouldn't be satisfied.

Both of them have a similar sound and it's not even close to rock nor is either with full orchestration.  That gets a little hmmm going.  Except for the pitiful vocal, I think those ones are fairly ok.  That still doesn't make it ok to lift either one up to re-use it but the vibe of the tune is ... well? ... what?

Paradise is lots of Heavenly strings.  Yah, if you want a toothache from all the sugar.  Or it's blowout power chords with full distortion and lasers as I have absolutely loved doing that.  Here is maximum audio sensation, maximum video sensation, and a whole lot of physical sensation ... total overwhelm and it Does.Not.Stop.  Paradise is that and it doesn't stop?

Well, is it, private?

Drill Sergeant:  Private, you better seriously work on getting yourself unfucked.

(Yes, they really do say things like that and all my life I have marveled at how they managed to teach those beasts at least that small measure of English.)

"Tatiana's Tofu Tatas"

In the ongoing development of the reality show, Tatiana's Tofu Tats, there was a setback today when the new business sign was delivered and it read, Tatiana's Tofu Tatas.

Donika was pissed and told the guy, this is NOT what I meant.  The painter said how should I know.  This is California.  Everyone has tofu tatas.

What they finally worked out is he would 'fix it' by painting over 'Tatas' and changing it to 'Tats!' but who the hell wants exclamation points.  I spent quite a long time ensuring every damn exclamation point was removed from "Abandoning Paradise!!!"

So things proceed slowly but she does her best with these Californians.   For the really special ones, she gives them certificates for discounts on wet suits in the hope they will go out swimming ... and be eaten by a shark.  You know those Californians, they wear wet suits and then go out swimming around where sharks live.  Then they scream up and down, hey, a shark just chewed off my California face ... now I'll have to get all that plastic surgery done again.  But, sunshine, what the fuck did you think would happen.

"Reverend Silas T Sasquatch Comes Out" (video)

The good Reverend Silas T Sasquatch never uses a script ... except this time.  This true confession started when Reverend Sasquatch came out on Facebook and then thought, hmmm, what would this sound like with a Texas accent.

Voila:

Plus, the good Reverend Silas T Sasquatch settles the matter of whether it is ok to murder people who read while they are in the bathroom.

On Leaving Out Rachel Maddow for Slasher Queen

Got something against lesbians, is that it.

Well, that's the problem, you know.  When I think of Rachel Maddow, the first thought that comes is lesbian.  Now who put that thought in my mind and why should I care.  I don't like that.  Even if she were straight she wouldn't ball me so I'm not clear why I should give a rip about her sexuality.

There's Rachel with the Cute Laugh and the Large Boobs on the morning show on CNN and maybe she likes to fuck chickens.  I don't know that and no-one told me so my first thought about her is not chicken-fucker.  To me, it's the same thing.  If I'm not in bed with it, I don't give a fuck what it does.  Why should I, right?

Besides, I want jugular vein work and I haven't heard it from her.  I suspect the best thing she could do for herself is to break away from CNN as that must hold some heavy chains.  Plus she is also chained to I Am Lesbian ... but everybody is fucking something so that information is just not useful. If she can break out to I Am Rachel, Deal With Me then she may find coolness.  I hope she has it in her.

Freddie Mercury seems the best model no matter what you are.  I came here to sing.  If you have a problem with that, well, fuck yourself.  No-one did.  If Maddow could pick up a bit of 'fuck yourself' attitude that could be interesting to watch.  I think she has it in her to be a contender or it would serve no purpose to mention her.

Some of You Fancy Ann Coulter as Slasher Queen

Well, not really, snowflakes.  The only way I can figure Ann Coulter's behavior is if she's a closet stoner.  She makes all manner of ridiculous statements and she observes these things for the effect they have on people, all the while thinking, "Holy Christ, don't you fucking people get it?"

It's distinctly possible she could be a very funny woman and she may well be bright enough to be doing exactly what I suggest.

Either that or she's a miserable, heartless bitch.

Personally, I'm going with closet stoner.


As evidence, I offer that she (I think) said she is a fan of the Grateful Dead.  Not now nor has there ever been a non-stoned fan of the Grateful Dead.  Not one.  Ever.  Most of the time, they weren't just stoned, they were trippin'.  Grateful Dead fans ate more acid than Pink Floyd followers as the latter took it as a religious event but Dead fans would do it just because the sun came back up.  One of the great tragedies of my life is I never made it to a Dead concert (sob).

What About Bill Maher for Slasher King

Bill Maher has got to lose the smugness.  That ain't sexy, that ain't cool.  He's like the David Letterman of slasher news as in he's good but he is so fookin' smug.

There's too much Hollywood in Bill Maher for my taste and I really don't have much use for endless atheism as I get it, dude.  It's so cool, man.  Your attitude is like, well, half the people in England but it's hip, really.

There's a strong sense of playing to the crowd in his set and that's Fox News.  His material is accurate but he's still using the same technique in mugging for the camera and playing to the stuff that seems poll-driven it's so predictable.

Unless Maher grows some balls, I see him on a strong fade.


Abby Martin is almost tragic as she initiated the Slasher Queen model ... but ... she's not funny.  In conversation she's witty and charming and you will definitely want to take her home.  She says no but you see right through her, don't you.

Martin is deadly in the depth to which she will probe a topic but her purpose is hard-edge investigative journalism and there is no room for comedy in that.  To some arguable extent she is right as entertaining goes up to what is eating Maher just now.  If you get too focused on the entertainment and the ratings, the depth of the incision in your content is reduced by it.

However, comedy is one excellent delivery vehicle.  John Oliver is right onto this as his topics are deadly as well but the delivery via comedy takes them out to an exceptional audience.  It really is exceptional, tho, as they're smart, motivated, and open to listening.  You want those ones.

Note 1:  Exceptional like awesome is a word that once meant something.

Note 2: See right through her above is a reference to "Jeanny" and perhaps that's obvious but it concerns me it's not.